Page 138 of Never Let You Go

“Trouble? What trouble?” I whisper. “Oh yeah, the Viking?”

He jerks his head up. “The wh—?” Then he drops his head back as understanding hits him. His lips curl up. “Nah, that was actually fun. Hadn’t done that in a while.”

He sets himself comfortably, adjusting my head on his chest, his hand in my hair. “You hated that, didn’t you,” he says.

“Um… no. It was hot.”

“Me being at her place,” he corrects me.

I still, my stomach clenching. Of course I hated him being there. Playing house. What does he think?

“It was a friendly visit. There’s nothing more to it. The kids were there.”

My heart squeezes.

“What?” he asks.

“It’s almost worse,” I whisper, picturing the perfect family gathered around the table for a nice dinner. The image of domestic bliss.

His arm squeezes around me, like he understands what I’m saying, but I know he can’t possibly scrape the surface of my pain right now. So I take a deep breath. The falling apart can wait.

“Hey,” he says, in the low tone that makes me melt. “I’m sorry this hurt you. I wish you would’ve told me, but I should’ve known. Shoulda read you better.”

“It’s okay,” I whisper.

“No, it’s not.” He pulls me closer into him, and I move my legs to rearrange myself so I’m straddling him, my knees at his hips, and lower my upper body flat onto his.

I listen to his heartbeat.

One hand comes back to my head. The other one lands on my back, and he strokes me.

God. It feels so, so good.

His low voice resonates inside me when he starts talking. “When Skye’s mother found out she was pregnant, she didn’t tell me right away. I heard it from Kiara. She was planning on giving the baby up for adoption without telling me. She didn’t think I’d step up, I guess.” He takes a deep breath. “I went to see her—she lived outside Boston. We met at a fast-food restaurant. I asked her how she was feeling, morning sickness and shit like that. The conversation was going well, I thought. Until I told her I’d marry her, take care of her and the kid. She didn’t have to worry about anything. I’d sort it out.”

He takes a break, and his heartbeat gets louder. Not a good memory.

“She laughed in my face,” he continues. “Literally laughed.” Another pause. “I didn’t think it was funny. At all. But then she stopped and asked me if I was serious. And I said, yeah. She looked at me like I was something the cat dragged in. Not in a million years, she said.”

God that’s awful. I wrap my limbs tighter around him, stroking his shoulder.

“It’s okay, beautiful. Long time ago,” he says and kisses my hair again. “I didn’t really understand where she was, socially. So out of my league, not even funny. I insisted, made a stink, went to see her father. That’s when I understood why she couldn’t imagine being married to me. She came from serious money. Not just big fat bank accounts. The kind of money that gives you power.

“The guy—her father—was decent. He wasn’t going to make his daughter marry me, and I was done with that plan anyway. But he saw my point about wanting the kid, and what difference was it to them anyway? His daughter sure as hell didn’t want to keep it. He was a businessman, used to planning for potential trouble. He saw I could be that to them. So he put his lawyers on it, we had court appearances and shit, and a few weeks after Skye was born, her mother was out of our lives for good. Never heard from her again.

“First I thought that was a good thing. Then I saw that maybe it wasn’t so great, for Skye. She had no mother, and the other kids around did. So I got her into therapy—that was Grace’s idea—and I made sure she had solid female presences around her.

“And that’s how Grace takes her to school every morning, and she spends more time at Emma’s than I would really care for her to, if I’m being honest. But I think it’s good for her to be around a mom, and she asks for it.”

I don’t interrupt him to say that what I believe, is that Skye wants to be around Caroline. But maybe I’m biased. For sure, I’m biased. Emma is stuck up, and Skye is unconventional and fun. Just my two cents here, that I’m keeping to myself.

“So that’s why, when Emma insisted on having me for dinner, I couldn’t really say no.”

“You’re a great dad,” I say. “Skye’s lucky to have you.”

He lifts my chin so he can look at me. “I want you to feel lucky to have me too, Alexandra. I never want to hurt you again the way I did tonight.”

I shake my head. “It’s okay.”

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