Page 116 of Never Let You Go

“Why are you really here, Alexandra?” I ask out of the blue, surprising myself.

She tightens in my arms and stretches her legs before giving me a non-answer. “What do you mean?”

I started this, so I might as well finish. I need to get to the bottom of it, and now seems like as good a time as ever. “I can’t make sense of a marketing person sent to do a baking apprenticeship. Why didn’t they send a baker?”

She pulls away from me and sits on the bed, her back to me. “I told you. They want authenticity in our marketing. Back-to-basics kind of stuff.”

Bullshit and she knows it. That’s why she can’t face me. Something else is going on. Suddenly I bolt upright, a crazy thought hitting me. “All those pictures you’re constantly taking, that’s not for them, right? I mean, the photos are yours, but the content, that’s mine. I never agreed to my products and my bakery being used in Red Barn marketing material.”

She turns around and narrows her eyes on me, but in the dim light I still catch the quivering of her lower lip when she whispers, “Holy shit, Chris, that’s messed up.” She picks her shirt up from the floor, slides it on, and wraps her arms around herself.

I jump to where she’s standing, me naked, my cock soft but still long, her trembling fingers grabbing at her elbows. I grab her shoulders softly, giving her the option to shake me off if she wants to.

She doesn’t.

“You have to admit, it’s weird. No?”

She shrugs. “I guess?”

“I mean. A full apprenticeship? I can understand an internship. Like an observation or whatever.” And why me? is what I really want to know, but then I’d have to be honest and come forward with the grant condition.

I can’t put that kind of pressure on her.

She’s still silent, and she looks totally shocked.

“I’m sorry I said that, Alexandra.” Her skin is so soft under my hands, I can’t help but caressing it as I speak. “You’re ….” I’m afraid of what I’m about to say, so I stop. Also, I need to get back on track. Fix what I just broke. “I was just trying to figure out why your former boss was harassing you. What’s so important about your presence here that a big shot like him needs to check in on you.”

Her voice is steadier, but she’s still upset when she says, “How do you know he’s a big shot?” Another non-answer, but I’ll let it slide.

“We have Google here too.”

“For what it’s worth, my pictures are mine. I only use them on my personal social media. But I can see your point. I’ll stop taking photos of the bakery.”

I have my answer, but does that fix things? “No. Don’t. Please. That’s not what this is.” I tease her hair. “I’m just—I feel something off with this whole situation. But looks like it’s just me being too protective. I need to step back.”

She raises a steely gaze at me. “Maybe you should, yeah.”

I’m hurting like fuck, but I brought this on myself. I couldn’t leave well enough alone, could I? So now I’m paying the price. Fair enough. “So… we’re good?”

She takes a deep breath. “Yeah, yeah, we’re good,” she says, climbing back into bed. She has those hiccupy movements that just fucking hurt me. She turns her back to me and buries her head in the pillows. “’Night,” she mumbles.

“Right,” I say, picking up my clothes strewn across the room. When I’m halfway dressed, I pull her into me, and I breathe better when she doesn’t resist me. I kiss her hair and whisper, “I’m sorry, Alexandra. I didn’t mean it the way it came out. Please forgive me? I can’t—we can’t be having a fight. Please.”

She turns around, and I don’t wait for her to talk. I close my mouth on hers, my tongue asks for permission to come in, and she yields. Her body wraps around mine, her hands clasp with desperation on my nape, and her tongue responds to everyone one of my moves like we are full-on having sex again.

We’re definitely good.

When we break the kiss, she nuzzles her face in my chest for a while, and I’m pretty sure she’s breathing my scent in. I do the same, my face in her hair, because I know this might end too fucking soon.

Then I leave her room, because until I’m sure she’s mine to keep, I’m not getting used to sleeping a whole night with her.

I say I’m a fighter, and I say I win my fights, but who am I kidding?

She looks exactly like a fight I’m going to lose.

thirty-two

Alexandra

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