Page 111 of Never Let You Go

“I’m trying,” she says, her eyes widening. “It’s not that easy.”

“Of course it’s not easy. But there’s nothing you shouldn’t have.” I kiss the tears off her cheeks. “And if there’s ever something I can help you get, I’m here for you. You know that, right?”

She takes a deep breath and wraps her arms tightly around me.

I dip my lips to hers, our mouths seal to each other, and our tongues engage in their familiar dance. “You’ll be fine, beautiful,” I say as we come up for air. “Whatever’s overwhelming you, it’ll work itself out.”

thirty

Alexandra

Ican’t sleep that night, so I scroll through the pictures I took at the farm today. Laughing faces around the long table, farmhands and owners side by side. Parents and children hugging. Pride in their hard work obvious in every detail.

A sense of peace radiates from every photo, and a new resolve takes hold of me. This is what I want for Red Barn.

I keep scrolling mindlessly back, thinking about how to bring the small family business vibe to an industrial company, until I land on the photo of myself in baker attire. The one I emailed Barbara but she never received. She would love it, so I text it to her.

A voice message comes back. Impressed with Barbara’s mastery of our constantly evolving technology, I open the message.

“Hello Lexie exclamation mark thank you so much for the picture heart emoji you look fantastic exclamation mark how is everything eggplant those bastards sacked me explosion emoji skull emoji Rita must be turning in her grave black broken heart emoji anyway we’ll get them strong arm emoji I’m going to come up to Emerald Creek to strategize period love you heart emoji heart emoji heart emoji period.”

Okay. Major emotion overload right there. I’m kind of laughing about her confusion between dictation and voice text, but really:

She was sacked? So they did it. She was right.

I need more info.

I sit up in my bed and call her.

“It’ll be alright,” she says as a greeting.

“Why would they do that!?” I didn’t really believe it when she said they were getting ready to fire her.

“I opened my big mouth once again. Didn’t like how and who they were replacing, and made it known. They’re even sacking the store managers who are up for a raise, just to save money. Couldn’t sit there and say nothing.”

My heart is beating fast, too fast. When she’d mentioned the possibility of being fired and said she’d be okay because I’d rehire her when I came back, I thought she’d been joking.

“Barb,” I say. “Are you gonna be okay?” The words barely get out my throat. Carlos had mentioned “a bunch of others” were let go too. What is going on at Red Barn Baking?

“Cash-wise, yes. It’s just the good old ego.” She laughs and makes a drawing sound like she’s smoking, then exhaling.

Barbara doesn’t smoke. “Thanks, hun,” she whispers, not to me.

“Are you with someone? Is this a bad time?” I’m torn between slightly jealous, irritated, amused, and happy for her.

“It’s Jerry. You know Jerry, right?”

I definitely don’t know Jerry.

“You’ll love him,” she says, confirming it’s the first time I’ve heard about him.

“I can’t wait to meet him,” I say. And truthfully, I can’t. My heart beats little tunes of happiness and hope. The all-too-familiar sensation of what could be, takes shape in my mind. Barbara, a substitute grandmother, warm and understanding. Jerry, a grandfather image, loving and caring. Before I can chastise myself, I’ve given into the fantasy.

Damn it.

“Last time, you said we should strategize,” I say to get back on track. “For when I go back.”

“Sure, darling. Are you still down for that?”

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