Page 110 of Never Let You Go

I growl. “Yeah, not sure about that.” If I were learning to deal with it, I’d protect myself better. I wouldn’t be holding her in my arms, swapping family history and aspirations.

“Tell me about your brothers.”

I chuckle just thinking about them. “Ryan and Trevor. Twins. They must be eighteen now.”

“That’s nice,” she says softly. “Do your brothers work at the bakery during the summers?”

“Naah. I haven’t seen them in a while. We keep in touch via video though.” I kiss her hair.

“Hmm. That’s too bad. It seems like it would be fun for Skye to have her young uncles around to be goofy with. And I bet you they’d love working with their big brother.” Her fingers are trailing circles on my back, soothing me.

“You know what? Maybe they would.” I pull her head back softly to look her in the eye. “I’ll mention it to them.”

“Why did you leave home?” she asks.

I won’t ruin this moment with my shit. “Beautiful, I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“Mmm. Sorry.” She leans her head back on my chest, and I stroke her hair.

“Don’t be. I don’t want to bring back bad memories, that’s all. Bottom line is, I fought for what I wanted, and I got it.”

She squeezes me. “You deserve to have all that you want, Christopher Wright.”

I squeeze her back. “I have most of it. The rest, I’ll keep fighting for. You can count on me.” I spoke too fast, and I hope she doesn’t ask me what that is.

“Good,” she sighs. “I’ll tell the events committee they can start working on the party.”

“What party?”

“For when you win the competition.”

I laugh. “That may be a bit cocky. I said I’ll fight for it. Doesn’t mean I’ll win it.”

“You always fight for what you want?”

“Yeah.”

“Why do I have the feeling that when you fight for something, you get it?”

That makes me pause. The major milestones of my life sift through my mind. “If I really want it, you’re right. I get it. When I don’t get something, I realize I never really wanted it to begin with.” That would be true for Skye—I wanted her. And for her mother—I didn’t care for her. And for my bakery. “How about you. You a fighter?” She must be, if she came all the way here to get a promotion at work. Truth is, we don’t talk about Red Barn Baking, because I hate those bastards and she knows it. There’s no point ruining a good thing between us by bringing them up.

“I try not to be,” she tells me. “Whenever I fought for something that meant a lot to me, I ended up losing more than I had. So now, I don’t fight. I’m just grateful for what I have and don’t wish for more.”

What a bunch of bullshit. “What makes you believe this.”

She takes a shaky breath. I try to pull her face from my chest to look at her, but she resists and nuzzles deeper. I wrap my arms tighter around her to comfort her.

“When I was a little girl, the only thing I wanted was a big family. Brothers and sisters, cousins, a grandma and grandpa… I only had my mother, and I didn’t realize that was all I needed. One year, I insisted so much we at least spend Christmas with my grandmother, she gave in… It was not the Christmas I was hoping for. They fought a lot, and eventually, my mother left for a few days, promising to pick me up right after New Year’s. She never did.”

My heart thumps at her words. I think I can fill in the blanks from things she shared before, but I don’t say anything. I give her space to let it out, on her time.

“She died in a car crash on New Year’s Eve,” she confirms, her body tightening. “Some guy she’d just met was driving. I remember my grandmother calling me into her office to tell me.” Alexandra’s voice is so small, even in the quiet of the barn, I have to strain to hear her. “She said, that’s what you get when you wish for what you’re not meant to have… and when you forget that men only bring misery.”

I growl my disapproval.

“It’s true for us, you know,” she says in a firmer voice. “My grandmother and my mom. Sure didn’t have any luck trying to build a family. And when I tried fighting for more than I already had?” She lifts her face to mine this time. “My mom died because of me. She died because of me. So… done fighting for stuff I shouldn’t have.” Tears line her eyes, and it nearly kills me.

“Beautiful. She didn’t die because of you. That’s just shit that was fed to you, no disrespect to your grandmother. You need to let go of that.”

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