Page 73 of Relinquish

For the first time in years, a huge weight falls from my shoulders. I need to call my guys. Everyone on the team survived when so many other operatives weren’t as lucky. My family might not be traditional, but I’m loved, respected, and appreciated. It’s time I accepted that–Lola’s wrong. I’m not a criminal. I’m a soldier. A leader. A tactician. I can be a good husband and father. It’s time to prove that to her.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Lola

As I cross the Illinois-Missouri line, I shift my back to ease the sharp, stabbing pain shooting from my hips to my shoulders. Even though the Jag’s seats are comfortable, I’ve been driving non-stop for 13 hours, and I’m about to jump out of my skin. The decision to drive was rash and stupid. I’m not going to make it home any sooner, and my eyes are filled with grit.

Honk. I jump. Son of a bitch. What was that? The sound of a semi blaring its horn as it goes around me is the last straw. My fingers are so tight on the steering wheel, that I’m surprised it didn’t pop off when I jerked. I’ve got to pull over and sleep.

I tap on the brake to disengage the cruise control and scan the signs for a place to pull over. I need a few minutes. An hour. Fuck that. I need ten hours of sleep followed by a soak in a hot tub.

The sign for several restaurants is a welcome one. After I pull into the parking lot and put my car in park, I turn off the engine and shove the keys into my pocket. The sun beams down, and I lay my head on the backrest. My eyelids flutter shut. What if he doesn’t talk to me? What if he won’t listen? He’ll listen. He’s the one that’s wrong. My head swims into darkness.

Ring. Ring. I jump and pop my eyes open. What was that? My heart races in my chest, pounding against my ribs. Where am I? I blink and glance at the parking lot. Several empty cars are scattered around beside mine, but they’re cast in shadows. Hannibal, Missouri. Shit. I study the clock–6:00 p.m. I slept for four hours.

Ring. Ring. I twist my head, and my neck screams in pain. Cade. I snatch up my cell phone. It’s Sarah. Is something wrong? Did something happen to Cade? My fingers shake as I swipe the screen. “Hello?”

“Hey, girl. Cade said you would be home today, but when I stopped by, you weren’t there.”

“Yeah, I’m on my way home from my dad’s.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“It’s fine.” Should I ask about him? Would that make me look pathetic? I glance at the rearview mirror and cringe. Yeah, I can’t look more pathetic.

“Good. Sam is ready for adoption. I drove him over today, hoping to surprise you, but obviously, I should have called first.”

Sam. At least one thing is going right. “I’ll be home in three hours if you can meet me then.”

“Sounds great.”

The warmth in her voice brings tears to my eyes. I was looking forward to getting to know her and the rest of Cade’s family, but now…. What? Is there a future? Do I want a future? Stupid question. Of course, I want a future with him. Just because I’m pissed at him doesn’t mean I’ve stopped loving him.

Somehow, I’ve got to convince him what he heard was not what I meant. I respect him. I would never believe he was a criminal and if he won’t listen. I’ll beat him over the head. “I’ll see you later tonight.”

***

Three Hours Later

After I flick on the blinker, I survey my street. The streetlights showcase beat-up vehicles and houses, leaving everything sheathed in shadows. Many of the houses have sturdy steel bars covering the windows and front doors for added protection against break-ins. A couple of nicer homes have metal fences surrounding both the yard and the home. I frown. Perhaps it’s not the best idea to drive a six-figure automobile into my neighborhood.

Again, something else I should have thought about. First thing in the morning, I need to phone my insurance agent to increase my coverage. I shudder. If it isn’t stolen during the night. The next thing I need to do is get it listed. I’m good with my beat-up vehicle from Sly Jimmy’s car lot. Who would have thought that?

When the trip started, I was hellbent on setting Cade straight. However, I can’t force something on him that isn’t there. Begging won’t change how he feels about me.

Somehow, I’ve got to figure out how to live without him. How do you work with the man you love when he doesn’t love you back? But I’m not leaving. I enjoy what I’m doing, and I’m good at it.

Sam. Sarah will be here in fifteen minutes. At least that gives me something to look forward to.

When I pull into my driveway, my mouth dries. Cade’s pickup is parked in front of my garage. My heart races. What is he doing here? I put the vehicle in park and catch my reflection in the mirror. Fuck. I look worse than I did back at the restaurant. Dark circles line my eyes, and my cheeks are red and puffy. I scrub my face, but it doesn’t do any good.

What I wouldn’t give for a hot shower and a hairbrush. At least I brushed my teeth at the last stop. I run my fingers through my hair and slap my palms against the strands to bring some semblance of order to the tresses.

Where is he? I glance toward the fenced-in backyard. Cade tosses a ball in the distance, and Sam lopes across the grass to swipe the sphere into his mouth. Did Sarah con him into bringing Sam? Did he even want to see me? Get a grip. There’s no way to know if you hide in your vehicle.

Get outside. You’re not a baby. I step out of the car and slam the door shut. A dog down the street howls, and Sam’s ear perks up. Crap. I cringe. Please don’t run off. I can’t take another heartbreak today. Cade grabs Sam’s collar and holds it in place. Seconds later, Sam settles down and gazes up at him. Yeah, I feel the same way.

“Hey, Sam.” The faint hint of leaves burning fills the air. Autumn is in full swing. Cade lets go, opens the gate, and the once scraggly dog bounds toward me and licks my hand. His coat is soft, free of matted hair, and shines under the streetlights. Tears fill my eyes. At least the dog still likes me. I blink them back and shift my attention to Cade. His eyes burn into mine, making me feel exposed. I shiver. “What happened to Sarah?”

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