Page 43 of Glad You're Here

Levi shrugged and kissed my ankle softly as he massaged my feet. “I think we all have a hard time seeing ourselves. Like the demon portrait you painted — it’s cool, don’t get me wrong— but that’s not how I see you. You think you’re not a good person, but you’re one of the best I’ve ever met.” He looked thoughtful as he continued to rub my feet. “I wish I could paint so I could show you what you look like to me.”

Again, my eyes refused to roll. “How would you paint me?”

Levi laughed. “I already told you. You’re a goddess.”

My eyes were broken, apparently. They wouldn’t roll or glare, but they were more than happy to shed big, fat tears.

Lenny gave me a box of my mom’s stuff when I was a kid. There were photos of a gorgeous woman with my exact smile, a few pieces of jewelry, a shot glass full of random coins from all over the world, and an illustrated Greek mythology book. My favorite picture was of Theia, the titan goddess of light. She wore this badass golden headdress over her wild mane of curls, and her beautiful face held an expression of pure strength. Blinding bursts of light surrounded Theia.

What if I was my mom’s light? What if she picked my name because I kept her here for as long as she could possibly stay? What if her death truly wasn’t my fault?

I managed to choke out a few words. “I was named after a Greek titan goddess.” My traitorous eyes met the warmth in Levi’s. “You see me.”

Levi nodded. “Yeah, pretty much since the day we met.” He gave me a half-smile. “And you see me.”

Of course I did. Levi was all bright colors, excitement, and honesty. I let out a tiny laugh and wiped my tears. “A few minutes ago, I wondered if we were two broken people with our work cut out for us, but maybe we’re whole together.” I slapped my hand over my mouth and mumbled, “You’re making me all sappy and cheesy.”

Levi laughed. “That’s when you know it’s good, Thea.” He kissed my forehead and folded me into him. “Let’s get at least a few hours of sleep before we have to check out.”

“I don’t want to check out. I want to stay like this forever.” I whispered the most cringe-worthy words that could have escaped my mouth.

“Ew. You’re so cheesy. You like me so much.” Levi laughed and tipped my chin up so he could kiss me.

His kisses turned deeper and longer, and those moronic butterflies in my stomach danced for him. Then, right on cue, at peak cheesiness, The Only Exception by Paramore started playing in my head. I wanted to roll my eyes but instead found myself smiling against Levi’s lips.

It almost felt like I was happy or something.

nineteen

Levi

Spending time with Thea was so easy. We could talk about almost anything. We could laugh, tease, and then get serious and thoughtful two seconds later. Even our silences felt good and natural. The four-hour drive from Arches to Durango ended too quickly. I hated the sight of Thea’s little gray house when we pulled up.

“Don’t leave yet.” She smiled and gripped my hand. “Come inside. I’m a shitty cook, but I’ll make you some food.”

We exited my car, and I grabbed her bags from my trunk. Thea opened her mouth to protest but then sighed and let me help. That felt huge to me. She was letting me in a little more each day.

Once inside her house, Thea headed to the kitchen for food, and I stood in her living room, staring at the art on her walls. I paused in front of her demon self-portrait and brushed my fingers against her face like I did the first time I saw this painting. Thea’s raw talent blew my mind.

A new painting hung on the wall opposite her portrait, and I crossed the room to check it out. A pair of brown eyes filled the canvas — my eyes. They held a searching and excited expression like they were on the verge of discovering something incredible.

“Well, shit.” Thea’s voice came from the kitchen. “That’s embarrassing.”

I turned to grin at her. “Thea, whoa. You have a huge crush on me! How long has this been going on?”

She laughed as she pulled a frying pan down from its hanging rack. “Shut up. You had a crush on me first.”

I nodded and walked into the kitchen, leaning against the wall beside her. “I did. Mine started the night I met you.”

Thea rolled her eyes. “Mine started right before you left in September.” She looked thoughtful for a second while she buttered slices of bread. “I wonder what would have happened if we’d communicated like mature adults and gotten over our insecurities way back then.”

“Yeah, that would have made things easier, but I like how our story is unfolding.”

Thea set the bread down. “Okay, no more talking. Kiss me.”

Saying goodbye to that woman an hour later felt like hell.

March in Utah couldn’t decide if it wanted to be winter or spring. One day, the sun shone, and tulips bloomed, and the next, it snowed, killing everything. It felt like maybe Utah was slowly killing me, too.

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