Page 6 of Glad You're Here

By the time Levi finished his fifth drink, he’d described the Mormon temple ceremony, complete with the secret handshakes Joseph Smith taught the Mormons to get into heaven. “Oh crap,” he mumbled. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone about those. I’m definitely going to hell now.” Then Levi burst out laughing. “But hell isn’t even real, is it?”

I grinned and shrugged. “Let’s debate that. Let’s figure out right now if heaven and hell are real.” I loved drunken logic.

Levi scrunched up his face. “Nah. It’s getting kind of hard to think.” His eyes lit up. “Wait, did I tell you about the special underwear that Mormons wear?”

I tilted my head in confusion. “Mormon God picks out your underwear for you?”

Levi laughed and swayed a little on his stool. “Yeah. They’re like thin white undershirts with secret symbols over the nipples.” His words slurred, and he gestured toward his nipples. “And then, and then long white shorts. And you have to wear them 24/7!” He gave me an incredulous look and then muttered, “My ex-wife sometimes kept them on during sex. Those garments are a real boner killer, let me tell you.”

I snorted into my fist. I’d been trying to keep a straight face for the past twenty minutes, but that boner-killer comment got me. “Levi!” I laughed out loud, “You’re telling me you just now realized that you were raised in a cult?”

He started laughing, too. “Shut up.” His face turned serious for a moment. “Not all Mormons are crazy, though. Some of them are good people.”

“I’m sure. There are good and bad people everywhere.” For example, Levi seemed like a good person, and I was not. See? That dichotomy existed everywhere you looked. I signaled Desi one more time to let her know we were closing out his tab courtesy of my dear Aunt Lenny. After she returned his credit card, I said, “Alright, bud. Let’s get you back to your hotel.” I stood, gripped his forearm, and gently tugged him to a standing position. He was taller than I realized. Levi swayed, but I steadied him. “Where are you staying?”

“Uh…” He scrunched his eyes shut like he thought that might help him remember.

“Okay, did you walk or drive?”

“I definitely walked.”

I looped his arm through mine and headed for the exit, tapping Jo’s shoulder and passing off her bag as we left. She’d be fine.

There were only two hotels within walking distance from The Station. I’d go through Levi’s wallet to find a room key if I had to. I wouldn’t even swipe his cash.

“Thea?” Levi asked as the cool September night air washed over us. “What’s your last name?”

“Traeger.”

The string lights from the Italian restaurant next door twinkled in his eyes. He nodded like he thought he might retain that information. Cute. “And your middle name?”

“Lenore.” Lenny hated that my mom named me after her. She always said it was too much pressure to have a kid named after you.

Levi laughed out loud and leaned into me a little more. It usually irritated the shit out of me to have a stranger touch me. But this felt fine — comfortable, almost.

“Look at us, Lenore! We’re a couple of sandwiches out on the town!” Levi snorted and almost stumbled over the curb.

I threw my head back and laughed. “What?”

“I’m BLT, and you’re TLT. Get it? Turkey, lettuce, tomato?”

I laughed out loud as we approached the Durango Inn’s front door. “You’re so weird. I love it!” I elbowed him in the ribs and pointed to the hotel. “Is this you?”

His eyes lit up. “Yes! Ha! We found it!”

I steadied him, then stepped away and dug around for a Sharpie in my black bag covered in skulls and roses.

“Cool bag.”

I glanced up at Levi, who studied my bag as if he’d never seen a skull before. “Thanks. If you like this bag, you’d love my tattoo.” I located the Sharpie and grabbed his hand. Our eyes locked, and I thought for a second that he might try to kiss me. I quickly scribbled my phone number on his wrist, capped the Sharpie, and backed away. “Goodnight, Levi. Hit me up if you’re drinking tomorrow night.”

“Goodnight, Thea! Thank you!”

I waved over my shoulder and walked away from Brigham Levi Thompson. Against my better judgment and everything I stood for, I smiled.

four

Levi

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