Page 49 of Glad You're Here

I didn’t stop kissing him for even two seconds so he could get his damn boxers off. I wanted his boxers off, but I couldn’t pull away. I tangled my hands in his hair, kissing him fiercely, passionately, with an authentic, gnawing need. He met my need for his lips while still somehow managing to shimmy out of his boxers.

Levi lifted me and set me on the vintage dresser I used for paint storage. My legs automatically opened for him, and I moaned into his lips when I felt him push into me. The paint all over our bodies mixed with our sweat and passion as he pounded into me over and over again.

Sex should always feel like this— a perfect mix of excitement and need all wrapped up in that home feeling.

I awoke to the smell of coffee and waffles. Levi. He didn’t have to be so adorable all the time. My body aches begged me to stay in bed this morning, but my need to see the man in my kitchen demanded that I get up.

So I got up. Duh.

Levi turned and smiled when I entered the kitchen. He set two mugs in front of me, both yellow, one with chamomile tea and one with coffee. I narrowed my eyes. “Where’d you find another yellow mug? I’m positive I only have the one.”

He shrugged. “I bought you another. Actually, it was a four-pack, so you can always have your tea in a yellow mug, even if the dishes aren’t done.”

I fought the smile pulling at my lips. “Shut up.”

Levi sipped his coffee from one of my black mugs. “No.”

I wrapped my arms around him, nestling my head against his chest. “Are you sure you have to go back to Utah today?”

“Thea,” he teased, “Are you going to miss the shit out of me or something? That’s so cute that you want me all the time.”

“Shut up.”

“No.”

“Kiss me then.”

Levi set his coffee on my counter and obeyed, letting his hands travel slowly down my body as his lips played with mine. Finally, he broke our kiss and sighed. “I don’t want to go back to Utah. There are only two weeks left in the semester, though, and it would be screwing the school over to quit right now. I’ll finish my classes, and then I can come visit for a couple of weeks.”

“And after that?” The question flew out of my mouth before I could stop it. I wasn’t the kind of girl that craved commitment like this. Ew.

Levi studied my face for a moment. Embarrassed by my neediness, I tried to look away, but he caught my chin with his finger and tilted my face up to look at him. “What do you want to happen after that?”

I could play it cool and turn this into a joke. That’s what the emotionally unavailable Thea would have done. But we were more than that, weren’t we? I could be vulnerable with Levi. I could say what I wanted.

I looked right into his gorgeous brown eyes. “I want to do life with you. It’s wrong to pretend like there’s not something incredible between us. Nothing will get better than this right now, at least not for me. This is what I want. You are what I want.” My heart pounded as I awaited his reaction to my intense honesty.

Levi smiled and kissed my forehead and then my lips. “I want this, too. So maybe in two weeks I should quit my job and move here. Would that be crazy?”

I smiled and nodded. “Yes, completely crazy. That’s why I love the idea so much.”

Levi released me and pulled two plates from my cupboard. He placed a stack of waffles on each and carried them to my table, looking thoughtful. “I’ve known it’s time to leave Utah for a while now. I didn’t know if it would be too soon or too much for you if I moved here.”

I grabbed a tub of whipped cream and a bottle of maple syrup from my fridge and joined Levi at my table. “It took thirteen days for you to snap me out of the most numb depression I’d ever felt in my life. No one could do that, not even Lenny. How could you ever be too much for me?” I had about ten seconds of vulnerability left before implosion. “And you said yourself, it feels like we’ve known each other forever.” And vulnerability over.

I opened the tub of whipped cream and scooped some up with my finger. I flung it across the table at Levi’s face to end the seriousness. The cream landed on his chin. He laughed but made no move to clean it up. Instead, he stared at me with teasing heat in his gaze. “I guess you better get over here and clean up this mess you made.” He patted his lap.

“Oh damn.” I straddled him. “One more fuck before you have to leave?”

“At least one more.”

twenty-three

Levi

It became easier every day to leave the places where I didn’t belong, and the accounting department at SUU was one such place. It also became easier to see which choices had been made for me and which ones I needed to make for myself.

My parents chose the church, Utah, and Gina for me, and in turn, the church chose my thoughts and feelings. My professors pushed me down the accounting path, and I sat back and let it happen. Letting others dictate my life led to nothing but entrapment and resentment.

---