Page 50 of Sure, Pal

Evan spoke first. “She thinks the rain is cruel.” He glanced over at me. “But it’s trying to wash away all the bad shit, right? I mean, it’s not working, but someone has to try.”

I reached for his hand and gently squeezed it. Fire shot through my veins. Even that tiny amount of contact was too much. It made me want too many things from him. I wanted to go back to the perfect little bubble we created, the one that couldn’t be popped by drama or cancer.

But it was childish of us to think that we could stay there for any real amount of time. Real love has to exist in the real world. We could make it happen, but today was the wrong day to try.

“I’m so sorry, Evan.” I gave him a quick hug, then turned to head to the parking lot. I had an umbrella in my bag, but I didn’t pull it out. I savored the cool drops of water on my skin as they fell from the sky. They felt like little kisses all over my body— like the way I imagined Evan’s love would feel if I could keep it forever.

I climbed into my car but didn’t drive away. I sat and watched the water bead up my windshield, thinking about Evan and his dad. I suddenly felt the completely foreign urge to let my parents know I loved them while I still could. I didn’t have a good relationship with either of them, but maybe it wasn’t too late to try. I sent them each a text, saying I loved them, and then closed my eyes and rested my head against the seat.

My phone buzzed a moment later. I assumed it was my mom or dad, but to my surprise, it was Evan. Are you still here?

My heart raced. Yes.

Don’t leave yet.

I read his message, and then my passenger door opened and Evan slipped into my car. He looked shattered. I wanted to pick up all of his pieces and glue him back together.

“Hey,” I whispered, my eyes filling up with tears.

“Hey,” He whispered back.

“What do you need? What can I do?”

“This.” Evan’s strong, sure hand cupped my face, and then his lips crashed into mine. Oh, god. He felt so good! I kissed him back with everything in me, and he met my passion, breath for breath.

Evan’s hands slid down my neck, to my shoulders. They continued roaming my body with the same passion as his lips. I climbed over the center consul, hitching up my black pencil skirt, and straddled his lap. Evan groaned and slid his hands up my skirt to grip my hips. I buried my fingers in his hair as we kissed. It was still wet from the rain. He didn’t like umbrellas either.

“Sienna?” He tore his lips from my neck, breathing heavily. “Let’s go somewhere.”

“Where?” I trailed kisses down his jaw and neck.

“Fucking anywhere but here.”

I gazed into his eyes, at his ocean of grief, and nodded. I slid back into the driver’s seat, not bothering to pull my skirt back down, and started the car. I glanced over at Evan. He was staring at me like I was the only thing that existed in the world. I asked, “Do you want to think about him or not?”

“Not.”

I shifted the car into drive and turned left out of the parking lot. Evan’s hand slid up between my thighs and brushed against my panties.

I didn’t know what the hell was happening. I didn’t know if it was healthy or smart, but it felt like what we both needed right now.

I turned up Main Street and headed for the park where we always hung out as teenagers. This was the spot where Evan heard me play my guitar for the first time. It was where we laughed and talked and made sarcastic comments that Ava didn’t understand. It was where we went when he and his dad finished restoring his ’69 Camaro.

When my car rolled to a stop next to a secluded picnic table, Evan pulled the door open and stepped into the rain. I followed him out and stood quietly next to him as the rain-soaked through our depressing funeral attire.

The park was deserted. No one in their right mind would be out in a freezing autumn downpour like this.

But we weren’t in our right minds.

Evan sat on the edge of the picnic table and gazed at me, unflinchingly through the rain. It was falling faster now, landing in big, splashy drops all around us.

He didn’t say a word, but I knew what he was waiting for.

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