“Look at me.”
I wait until she does before I give her what she wants, and I stop when she looks away, training her to give me what I want. She’s so closed off, but during sex, there’s always a moment when it feels as if I’m looking straight into her soul. I want to be there when she goes over the edge. I want to know it’s me and not Donovan fucking Arling or anyone else in her head when it happens.
We are slick with sweat. The blanket is kicked off. I am going to come so fucking hard the minute she lets go. My fingers move to her clit as I rise up, pulling her so high that only her head is still on the bed as I piston in and out.
“Oh, God,” she swallows. “I’m close.”
“So am I, baby,” I whisper. At the sound of that endearment, one I have never used once in my life, she clamps down, crying out. And for a moment, right before she closes her eyes, I see everything inside her laid out like a buffet.
And it’s glorious. Under that tough exterior, she’s soft as a cloud and fragile as glass. Under that smart fucking mouth and those flashing eyes, she’s fiercely loyal and scared and sweet as hell.
I let go, sinking into her with one last thrust, and when I finally come back to earth, she’s watching me. Her mouth is swollen, her cheeks flushed, her eyes a summer storm. She’s allowing me to have this, this handful of earnest seconds, and she’s terrified I’m going to make her regret them.
Her mouth opens and I already know it’s to say something that’s both mean and funny at once. I press a finger to her lips as I roll to the side. “Don’t, okay? Don’t ruin it. Please.”
She bites her lip, pushing herself up to a seated position, covering her tits with the sheet, as if she’s a different person entirely—one I wasn’t coming inside twenty seconds ago.
“Now, are you going to tell me what’s up?” she asks.
I sigh heavily. “Mac, one of my guys—”
“I know Mac,” she says, her voice low and worried. “He’s the one who just got married, right?”
I sink into my pillow. “He was snorkeling on his honeymoon. They think too much carbon dioxide built up inside his mask.”
“Is he okay?” she asks.
I swallow. “No. He didn’t make it.”
“God.” She covers her eyes with a single hand. “I’m so sorry. He was a really good guy.”
“He was.”
I pull her back down to me and we remain like that in silence—her head on my shoulder, her hand in mine.
“I’m the last person you should have sought out,” she whispers after a long minute. “I’m sure you know some female who’s less emotionally stunted than me.”
“That’s pretty much all females,” I reply, and she swats my arm. “But you’re the one I want. Even if you insist it’s just sex.”
Her swallow is audible. “I’m sorry. It’s just how I’m built, I guess.”
“Bullshit. It’s not how you’re built. You’re scared. That’s it.”
“I’d normally argue with you but given the circumstances, I won’t.” She starts to sit up again and that arm I’ve got around her tightens.
“Stay.”
Her gaze drifts between us. “I’m pretty sure I just met your needs.”
I tug her close and press my lips to her neck. “You haven’t even begun to meet my needs, Em. But the night is long.”
36
EMMY
I’d thought we were done, and I’d thought I was satisfied, but the minute he says you haven’t even begun to meet my needs, Em, in that deliciously growly voice, I feel as if I haven’t gotten laid in a decade.
There’s no way I’d turn him down even if it didn’t have that effect. He’s upset about Mac and looking for an outlet. He wants to be worn out, he wants to forget, and I’m happy to help him get there.