Page 75 of The Summer I Destroyed You

After dinner, we walk along the beach under the stars, carrying our shoes in our hands. “I know it wasn’t much of a date compared to what you’re used to, but we don’t have world-famous restaurants and carriage rides here.”

My steps falter. “I already told you I don’t date. You aren’t being held to some lofty standard.”

“But at some point, you’ve gone on dates in New York, and I’m guessing the guy didn’t drive a truck you could barely climb into. I’m also guessing he was a lot more like Damien Ellis than I am.”

I’m silent, weighing whether or not I should just let this go. I’d prefer to have him continue thinking I’m this glamorous NYC girl who’s wined and dined all over the city. I’m scared that if he knows I’m not that girl at all, he’ll like me less.

But if he isn’t going to like who I actually am, it’d be easier just to end this right now anyway.

“I only go on dates when I want something,” I reply.

His eyes narrow. “What does that mean?”

“It means that I’ll go out with someone if I think it can get me ahead somehow, but I’ve never gone out with someone just…because. Because I wanted to.”

He looks unnerved. I guess I would too. I’m about to change the subject but he speaks before I can get to it. “Why? Why are you only dating people if they can get you ahead?”

“Because then, if it turns out to be a trick on his end, well…it was a trick on mine, too, so that’s fair.”

He pulls me to a stop under a beam of light from the nearest lamppost, his brow furrowed. “I don’t understand. Why would it ever be a trick on anyone’s end?”

I love that Liam is worried on my behalf, that he wants to fight my battles, but he can’t fight battles that took place a decade ago, and I’m at my limit for rehashing the past. “Can we please just leave it alone? I don’t want to discuss this.”

The wind whips my hair across my face, and he reaches out and pushes a lock behind my ear. He’s frowning, but he doesn’t push for more. “Thank you for trusting me enough to give this a shot tonight.”

I dig a toe into the sand. “You didn’t give me much of a choice.”

He laughs. “Em, no one has ever made you do a goddamn thing you didn’t want to do. You had a choice. You trust me.”

I do, but I don’t want to say it aloud. I’ve been proven wrong before, after all. It feels as if there’s safety in refusing to admit it. “We’ll see.”

He sighs, running his free hand through his hair. “Why is it so hard for you to agree?”

“Because every guy who asks you out wants something. Even if he himself thinks he has good intentions, what he’s really after isn’t good intentioned at all.”

“And what is it you think I want? You’ve already slept with me, and you made it exceedingly clear that we didn’t have to go out to do it again.”

I hitch a shoulder. “I don’t know. Maybe you’ve got an ulterior motive. Like you’re hoping I’ll abandon Lucas Hall or something.”

He laughs. “I don’t know you well, but I know you a hell of a lot better than that, Em.”

Yeah, I guess he does.

We spend the ride home talking about the plans for Mac’s funeral and what a bitch I was when I first met him. It’s sad sometimes and it’s funny sometimes, and the weird thing is how easily it all comes. That even as we approach Elliott Springs, it still feels like we have hours and hours more conversation we won’t be getting to.

He delivers me to my car and walks me to my door.

I wait for him to suggest that we drive to his house, but instead, he leans forward and presses his lips to the top of my head. “Thanks for coming out tonight.”

I stiffen, fighting this ache in the center of my chest. Liam said he wanted to know me, but I give him even a glimpse and suddenly we’re ending this like colleagues, nothing more. “Why are you seeing me off like I’m your teenage daughter?”

His smile is slight and sad. “I’m not. I can’t prove anything to you about my intentions. Maybe you’ll believe me about Lucas Hall once you’ve won it, and it seems pretty clear you will, so all I can do now is this: I can take you out on a date and not try to get anything for myself at its end, because that’s not what tonight was about. It would be the icing on the cake, but the cake is what I was after.”

“That’s wholly unnecessary. The part where we go to your house is the part I was after.”

He pushes the hair back from my face. “Princess, I don’t know if you’re lying to me or if you’re lying to yourself, but I assure you…that would only be the icing for you too.”

His lips press gently to mine and he ushers me into my car. I’m still upset about the way tonight ended, but he’s calling before I’ve even reached the bridge.

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