Page 102 of The Summer I Destroyed You

I laugh, resting my head on his shoulder. “I sort of figured you already knew.”

“I did,” he says, his voice softening. “I just wasn’t sure you knew.”

We get to 76th Street. The driver double parks while cars honk at us because someone is already illegally parked in front of the building. I add honking to the list of things I won’t miss.

Giorgio does a double take—he’s never seen me in jeans and a ponytail. “Miss Hughes?” he asks, eyes wide. “You’re finally back?”

“Not for long,” I reply. “I’m moving to California. This is Liam, my…” I trail off because boyfriend sounds so dumb, so childlike.

“Boyfriend,” he supplies. It clearly doesn’t bother Liam. He turns to me and shakes his head, as if he’s trying to hold in a smile. “That shouldn’t have been such a hard one for you.”

“Well, we’re sure gonna miss you, Miss Hughes,” Giorgio says as he follows us inside.

I try to remember why I hated him so much back in the day and I don’t have much of an excuse. He’s a nice guy who enjoys small talk. I’ve really changed during the past few months, I guess.

He follows us all the way back to the elevator. “But I bet you won’t miss this weather up here, eh? I’m sweating the minute I walk outside in this suit, let me tell ya.”

Yes, I’ve really changed. Too bad Giorgio won’t be around to benefit from it.

The elevator door opens. Giorgio holds it, still talking, while Liam and I walk in. And then we’re both inside and he…continues to hold the door so he can finish his dumb story and then begin a new one.

“I was just telling my wife the other day…” he says, and something inside me starts to die. “I said, ‘Stacy, we need to get ourselves somewhere where it never gets above eighty.’ And she says, ‘Where’s that, Giorgio? Iceland?’”

He releases the door at last. Liam starts to laugh as we hit the second floor. “I bet that guy annoyed the living shit out of you.”

“He did. He still does, apparently. And I was starting to think I’d changed.”

He pulls me against him, nuzzling my neck. “You know what? We never talk about the weather. We should do that more. Every single day. At length.”

“I’ll kill you in your sleep. The rooster for practice, then you.”

He laughs. I’ve found the one man alive who will laugh when I threaten to kill him. How have I gotten so lucky?

We get to my apartment, and when the door opens, I try to see it through his eyes. For what I paid for this place, we could buy an entire block of houses in Elliott Springs. And yet…it’s empty. The gray travertine floors are cold, the light filtering through the floor-to-ceiling windows is dim, and inside there is not a single personal item—not even my degrees. No pictures or throw blankets or pillows. I’ve stayed in hotels that felt more personal.

I stripped my world bare so it would feel as if I were a new person, one without my past. But I remained who I was anyway, floating around in an empty life.

I wasn’t happy in this condo. I wasn’t happy when I was at work. The closest thing I ever felt to happiness was triumph, and it took being around Liam to realize they’re not the same thing.

Happiness is quieter, warmer. It spreads through your blood like water rising toward the banks of a river but never overflowing it. It’s more stable than triumph ever was and doesn’t have its sharp bite—the tang of blood that accompanies it.

I want to keep feeling happiness, but triumph—at least the way I’ve experienced it in the past—is something I’m done with.

“I’m going to sell,” I tell him.

His eyes widen. “You are? I thought you said it was a good investment.”

I shrug. “It is. But other things are good investments too. And…I like knowing this part of my life is over. Everything I want, I’ve already got.”

There’s not a bone in my body worried that I’ll end up regretting this decision. The world remains an uncertain place, but Liam…he’s the one thing I know I can count on.

I left here to destroy everything he loves.

Thank God I was so bad at it.

EPILOGUE

EMMY

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