Page 69 of Interference

All the guys laughed so loud, I didn’t even hear Chip’s retort. I wasn’t sure I’d have understood it anyway, because it was in that moment, watching Wyatt bantering with my teammates as he lined up another puck, that I recognized this off-balance feeling.

Am I…

Am I attracted to you?

Right then, Wyatt burst out laughing at something D’Angelo said, and… Oh, fuck me. This was definitely attraction.

I had no idea what to think about that. Or what to do with it. Was I losing my mind? Yeah, probably. That had definitely become a familiar feeling over the past year, so why the fuck not?

I caught Simon’s eye, and my stomach tightened into a painful ball. A pang of guilt hit me hard, which didn’t make sense since he wasn’t my boyfriend anymore. What did I have to feel guilty about? But there was also that aw fuck, I’m gonna hear about this later dread that made me want to groan.

I pulled my gaze away from my ex and watched Wyatt. He picked just that moment to glance at me and smile, and this whole bullshit pile of emotions intensified.

Maybe the alien feeling when I looked at Wyatt wasn’t really attraction after all. Anyone was attractive when the alternative was icy glares and teeth-gnashing.

Whatever it was, it was better than everything that churned up in me whenever I locked eyes with Simon, so I went with it. Hell, I basked in it.

I had to keep up appearances, though, and that was harder than usual. Last year, Simon and I were barely speaking on the way to Thanksgiving because of a fight we’d had the night before. I’d had to make a conscious effort to put on the happy boyfriend face, and Simon had clearly done the same thing. We’d both been exhausted by the time we’d left.

Today, the sight of Simon didn’t have my temper on a knife’s edge like it had last year. In fact, whenever I looked at him, I just felt… nothing. Well, nothing except guilt over all the things I suddenly did feel for Wyatt.

Ugh, this was messy. And it sucked. Was it time to get out of here and go home to my cats and my peace?

No, it wasn’t. We hadn’t even had dinner yet. Fuck my life.

The most exhausting part was measuring how much time and attention I gave each of the two men who’d come with me. I couldn’t let anyone catch on that things were rocky with Simon, but I also didn’t want to overdo it and make people suspicious. I couldn’t be so focused on Wyatt that people started whispering behind their hands, but I also didn’t want to leave him to the wolves when he was around new people. That was especially true now that I knew crowds were an issue for him. The house wasn’t densely packed, but I didn’t know him well enough to know his limits. Trying to get a bead on him while at the same time convincing everyone I was still Simon’s boyfriend was seriously draining.

I had a moment’s reprieve when Simon left the garage to get another drink, but that didn’t last long. When he came back, he pulled me aside. “Hey, can you give me a hand with something?”

It took a lot more work than it should have to keep the “oh for fuck’s sake, what now?” off my face.

But… keeping up appearances.

I nodded, then turned and touched Wyatt’s shoulder. “I’m just stepping out for a minute. I’ll be right back.”

He glanced at me and smiled. “No problem.”

Why can’t I just stay in here with you?

And why do I want to so bad?

Oh, right—because I don’t want to go anywhere with him.

I had to, though, and as soon as Simon and I were alone in the hallway, I asked, “What do you need?”

“They’re getting low on soda,” he said flatly and without looking at me.

Yeah, fine, and we’d left a few cases in the trunk to save space in Russell’s kitchen, but I doubted that was the reason he’d asked me specifically to come out here. In our better days, if I was chatting with someone when he needed something out of the car, he’d have just borrowed my keys and that would’ve been the end of it. Taking me with him this time felt like an excuse to get away from everyone so we could have a sidebar.

Sure enough, as soon as I’d opened the hatch on the Land Rover, Simon turned to me. “What the fuck is going on with you and Wyatt?”

I blinked. “Um. What?”

He narrowed his eyes. “I’m not stupid, Anthony.” He gestured sharply toward the house. “You’re obviously fucking him. I can see what’s—”

“I am not fucking him!” I snapped. “Jesus, Simon. There is nothing going on with him.” That part felt like a lie even though it wasn’t. Was Wyatt attractive? Absolutely, but I hadn’t laid a hand on him or even pursued anything with him. He hadn’t made any moves on me. The only things “going on” with him existed solely in my head. And, it turned out, my ex-boyfriend’s head. I managed to hold Simon’s gaze as I said, “There hasn’t been from the start, and even if there was, what difference does it make?” It was a struggle, but I kept my voice low so no eavesdroppers would catch it. “You dumped me, Simon. You wanted this to be over.” I spread my arms. “Am I not allowed to move on?”

He worked his jaw. “You moved him in before we broke up.”

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