Page 131 of Interference

Now didn’t feel like the time to take a mental jaunt back to that bitter Afghanistan winter and “Christ, dude, can you order some different flavors?” and “I will give you a hundred dollars not to use that thing for the rest of this goddamned deployment.”

Lily leaned against me, and I shook the thought away as I petted her. Clearing my throat, I studied my brother. “So, what’s up?”

“That’s what I wanted to ask you.” He absently turned the vape pen between his fingers, staring at that instead of looking at me. “I need you to level with me.”

“About?”

He flicked his eyes up to meet mine. “Where’ve you been?”

It was my turn to avoid eye contact.

He exhaled hard. “This has been killing all of us, you know. I get you’re in a shitty situation, but you can’t even call more than once in a blue moon? Or buy a damn train ticket?” He pointed at the house with the vape pen. “Mom shouldn’t have to handle this all on her own.”

I flinched. “I know. I’ve…” I chewed the inside of my cheek and watched my parents and boyfriend through the sliding glass door. “It hasn’t been for lack of trying.”

I didn’t have to look to know he was watching me skeptically. I could feel his “that sounds like bullshit” expression.

“How much effort does it actually take to call or text?” he demanded.

I swallowed. “Effort wasn’t the issue.”

“Then… what?”

I pulled my gaze away from the slider and moved to the deck furniture. Easing down onto the cold metal chair, I petted Lily to center myself. I had to think for a long moment about what to tell him. How much shame and guilt I could handle. How much of my brother’s pity and disgust. God, I hated this. How badly my life had spiraled and how humiliating it was to even brush up against the subject.

But Jon was right. I’d been MIA when the family needed me the most. They deserved some kind of explanation for that, didn’t they? I took a deep breath and looked at him. “I’ve… I haven’t been completely honest with you or Mom and Dad. About my situation.”

Jon’s eyebrows shot up. “Says the guy who couldn’t get down here, but then shows up with a pro hockey player boyfriend who drives a Land Rover.”

I exhaled a cloud into the night. “That’s… a very new development.”

“Yeah. And?” He took another drag off the vape pen, watching me intently the whole time.

Gazing down at Lily, I fought back the knot of shame in my chest. I didn’t want my family to know. I hated how far down I’d crashed. And for fuck’s sake, the family had much bigger things to worry about. Mom was at a breaking point, and her stress was only going to get worse as Dad’s cancer picked up steam. It was also taking its toll on Jon. Derek had to be losing his mind, too, especially since he was on the other side of the country with kids and a demanding job. None of them needed my chaos.

“Wyatt.” My brother pulled out one of the other chairs and dropped into it. “I know it’s hard, Dad being sick. But we’re a family. We need each other. It’s gotta be all hands on deck. Even Derek has flown out like six times, and he calls constantly to check in.” He flailed a hand toward the house. “Mom shouldn’t have to handle this alone, and I’m doing as much as I can. I don’t think I’m out of line asking why the fuck you couldn’t be bothered to—”

“Because I was living on the goddamned streets, okay?”

We both froze.

He stared at me. I stared at him. No clouds formed between us. Not breath. Not vape.

Lily whined softly and pressed against my hand, but I didn’t take my eyes off Jon as my own words hung in the chilly air.

He was the first to exhale, leaning back slowly in the chair as he stared at me in disbelief. “You were—are you saying you were homeless?”

“Yes.” I dropped my gaze as shame pushed down hard on my tired shoulders. “I’ve been telling Mom I can’t get time off work, but the truth is, I lost that job a long time ago. The VA is still dicking me around, and…” I wiped a hand over my face and forced myself to look at him. “I ended up out there.”

Jon’s eyes were huge, his jaw slack. “Are you serious?”

I nodded slowly as bile climbed the back of my throat. Now that he knew, there was no reason to hold back, so I told him everything. About losing my apartment, then my car. About living in a tent, then losing that and most of our belongings to the police. About all the waiting lists I was on with the VA, which were doing fuck all to actually help with my situation.

By the time I was done, I was sweating, and Lily was most of the way onto my lap, leaning against my chest and licking at my chin.

I thought my brother actually paled. “Holy shit. Why…” He swept his tongue across his lips. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

I swallowed hard and looked him right in the eye. “What do you think that would’ve done to Mom?”

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