Page 23 of Unspoken Tides

Hilary raised her shoulders, feeling obstinate. “Why would you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I want to help you. I love you.”

Hilary flared her nostrils. She felt like a teenage girl. “I can’t be in Los Angeles anymore. I have to go.”

Rodrick remained quiet.

“I’ll fly back to Boston in the morning,” Hilary stated, her tone taking on a formal, businesslike tone.

Rodrick sighed. “You don’t know anyone in Nantucket. You’ll be all alone out there.”

He didn’t seem to understand that that was the very reason Hilary wanted to go. Was it possible that Rodrick had never understood her at all? That she’d thought they were speaking the same language when, in reality, he was speaking English, and she was speaking Russian?

Hilary set her jaw. After another moment of silence, Rodrick stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. Hilary thought he was trying to manipulate her into staying. He was trying to make her hard heart melt. And for a split second, she thought it was working. She placed her chin on his shoulder as tears sprang to her eyes. She remembered the morning of her wedding when she’d awoken to an island filled with light and thought, today is the day I marry my greatest love.

“I have to go, Rodrick.”

Rodrick unwrapped his arms, and she was immediately shivery and cold. She wanted to ask him to hug her again. She felt like a walking contradiction. Love me! Please don’t love me! She didn’t know which one would stick.

“I’ll visit you soon,” Rodrick said. “I promise.”

“I hope you do.” There was a bubble in Hilary’s throat. “You’re welcome any time. I’ll buy that fish you like from the market. We can rent a sailboat and go out on the sound.”

Rodrick’s eyes were heavy. Clearly, he couldn’t see the daydreams that played out in Hilary’s mind.

“It’ll be a gorgeous summer,” Rodrick said, his voice filled with doubt. He tucked a curl behind her ear, and Hilary remembered she hadn’t washed her hair in many days. She probably reeked. “It’ll be good for you. Take care of yourself, Hil. Remember that I love you.”

Even as he said it, Hilary felt his love receding, like the tide escaping the rocky shore.

It was just as her mother had always said, “A man’s love for you is always conditional. If you stop being the person he believed you to be, he’ll go off and find someone else who fits the bill.”

Hilary wasn’t sure who she hated more at this moment: her mother, for giving her that advice as a young girl; Rodrick, for being a man; or herself, for being unlovable and not the sort of woman who can keep a man in love with her for good.

Chapter Nine

Present Day

Hilary turned her cell phone back on Saturday morning at seven after two anxious hours of sleep. She found twenty-eight messages from the Salt Sisters, including photographs from last night’s taco and margarita night, as well as multiple questions regarding her health.

STELLA: Are you feeling all right?

ROBBY: Do you need me to make you soup?

STELLA: Should someone swing by tomorrow to check up on you?

Hilary skimmed the messages over coffee as her head pounded from lack of sleep.

And then, another message came in—from Rodrick.

RODRICK SALT: Hi, Hilary. I’m sorry about the other night. Would you be up for trying again?

Hilary all but shrieked and considered throwing her phone out the window. She refilled her mug with coffee and paced the kitchen, watching the seagulls sweep over the beach. It was a gloomy day. Clouds billowed over the horizon and spat rain across her windowpanes. She was grateful that she didn’t have work. Her legs were spiky from so much standing up, and her heart buzzed with confusion. Just as easy as anything, she’d kissed Max von Swenson—and now, she had to live with the consequences. he’d thought she’d left that reckless behavior behind in another era. Apparently not.

Hilary’s phone rang. It was Stella. She remembered how Stella had said, “I keep having nightmares that you’re trying to get away from us,” and she shivered with guilt.

“Hey.”

“Hey, stranger.” Stella sounded chipper but annoyed. “What happened last night?”

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