Page 86 of Rock On

Instead of going home, I headed straight to Z’s house.

If we weren’t on tour and didn’t have any kind of engagements, Z’s house was like the rock star version of family dinner on Sundays. His mom and/or Presley cooked, the band, significant others, and extended family were all invited, and it was a nice way to end or start the week, depending on your perspective.

I hadn’t called to let them know I was coming, opting to just drop in unannounced. Harley and I had decided to take the rest of today apart, so she could talk to Wynter and spend quality time with River. We’d see each other at the meeting tomorrow, which was also at Z’s house, and make plans from there.

“Well, hey, stranger!” Z answered the door with a grin, reaching out to pull me in for a hug, clapping me on the back harder than usual.

“Ow,” I said, pretending to wince. “What the fuck?”

“Making sure that place didn’t break you,” he said, the intensity in his gaze at odds with his grin.

“Daddy!” Jeremy came toddling down the hall and wrapped his little arms around Z’s legs. “Up!”

“I left the room for, like, a minute and a half, little dude!” Z said playfully, scooping him up like he weighed nothing. Jeremy giggled and beat his fists against Z’s shoulders.

“Rawr!!!” He held up his hands, mimicking claws.

“We’re going through a dinosaur stage,” Z said to me, laughing and blowing a raspberry on Jeremy’s stomach.

“Ahhh!” Jeremy squealed with laughter, and I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy.

Maybe more than a pang.

I’d convinced myself kids were annoying and unnecessary, that I could live a perfectly happy and fulfilled life without them. Lots of people did. Kids didn’t equal happiness. Yet when I thought about Harley with River, and watched Z with Jeremy, I realized that while it wasn’t necessary, it was definitely a bonus under some circumstances.

Like the circumstance where the love of your life already had a kid that didn’t have a father.

And I was up for the job.

I didn’t know when I’d decided that but watching Z with Jeremy made me realize that I wanted what he had. In one of my sessions with Allisha, we’d dug into why I’d been so against adoption. A lot of it had been my ego. If Harley hadn’t pressured me about having kids, I never would have discovered there was something wrong with me. It wasn’t quite that black and white, but that had been the gist of it.

Now that we were back together, I had a different perspective on things, and frankly, River needed a dad and Carter had wanted me to be him.

More than that, I wanted to be his dad.

“Look who’s back!” Kellan got up and gave me a much gentler hug than Z had, and King held out his fist for a bump.

“You look refreshed!” Devyn said, coming over to hug me.

I’d thought it would be weird to have a woman in the band, but now that she’d been with us almost a year, I couldn’t imagine it without her. Beautiful, smart, and so fucking talented, she wasn’t Carter, but she was an entity all her own. She’d taken on the role of Onyx Knight’s bass player and made it hers. There was no other way to put it. And not only had she stolen Kingston’s heart, but she’d also wormed her way into all of our hearts, just in a slightly different way.

“I feel good,” I told her, my smile genuine.

“You been to the doc yet?” Kellan asked.

“I see him Friday,” I told him. “But I can rehearse, just without full use of my right leg. I’ll play without the bass drum until I see him.”

“Is that even possible for you?” Z asked, making a face.

I laughed. “I guess we’re going to find out.”

“Thomas, have you lost weight?” Z’s mom gave me a once over and the look on her face told me she didn’t like what she saw.

“Yes, ma’am,” I said, pretending to be serious. “They starved me at the rehab center.”

Her eyes widened and her mouth opened before it clicked that I was fucking with her. Then she narrowed her gaze and pointed to a chair on the patio. “Go sit down before I ground your sorry ass.”

We all burst out laughing and it felt good to be back in the fold.

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