Page 54 of Rock On

“I’m going to sit on my balcony with a book and a cup of tea. I don’t do a lot of reading these days, and I miss it.”

“You used to read all the time,” he said softly. “Why’d you stop?”

“Initially because having a newborn is extremely time-consuming. Then having a toddler is even busier, just in a different way. And honestly, I read mostly romance, and I wasn’t feeling very romantic after everything that happened.”

“I hope I’m not the reason you lost your faith in romance.”

Our eyes met and for a moment neither of us seemed to even breathe.

He epitomized romance in my mind.

Tall and sexy and gorgeous.

Equal parts rock star, male model, and super-talented musician.

He was the whole bad-boy rock and roll package and nothing had changed since we’d been apart.

I could still look at him for hours.

When we’d been married, I couldn’t count how many times I’d watched him sleep, just because I loved looking at him so much. There was beauty in the male form, though society rarely used that word for men, but I thought Tommy had it in spades. From his rugged features to the impish quirk of his smile

“Divorce is probably the least romantic thing on earth,” I said after a moment. “To be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever fall in love or get married again. It’s just too painful when it doesn’t work out.”

TWENTY-ONE

Tommy

Harley’s words haunted me all through my physical therapy session.

To be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever fall in love or get married again.

That hurt on so many levels.

I hated that for her and even more for me because chances were that she would never love me again, much less marry me. And she was still the only woman I could imagine marrying. The most beautiful woman on earth as far as I was concerned. I could get lost in her gorgeous eyes and her sweet smile. I had dreams about digging my fingers into her soft, silky hair as I kissed her. I’d pictured her face every time I’d fucked someone else the last three years, sometimes simultaneously cursing myself for needing that fantasy of her to get myself off.

I wasn’t angry anymore, but I was battling disparate emotions.

I was still hurt that she’d left me without giving me a chance to understand what was happening.

I was relieved to finally know the truth, and to know that the two of them hadn’t had an affair.

That was selfish of me, but I’d really struggled with the idea of Harley cheating.

We’d been so in love it was hard to imagine her with anyone else.

Not then and not now.

Except that one time.

One night of fun that had changed the course of all of our lives. Carter had initiated it by walking in, but I’d been right there with him, totally down with watching him fuck my wife.

My wife.

The woman I loved.

My soulmate.

What had I been thinking?

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