Page 37 of Rock On

Allisha smiled. “No. It tells me you’re still chasing answers. And Harley is running away from them.”

There was a long, somewhat uneasy silence as Tommy stared at the floor and I stared at Allisha.

Was I running?

Technically, I had been, but from what?

Initially, I hadn’t wanted Tommy to know about River, but that ship had sailed when Carter died and everyone found out when his will was revealed. So, what was I running from now?

“So… you think we should talk?” Tommy asked finally.

“I think you should go back to the group and start there. This isn’t about the two of you personally or as a couple. For you, this group is about the grief of losing Carter. If you can get through it, then maybe you can consider talking to each other one-on-one. With me there to make sure nothing goes sideways.”

That was a lot to take in.

“I don’t know if—” I began.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Tommy said at the same time.

We both stopped abruptly as Allisha held up a hand.

“It’s one session where the two of you just have to be polite and considerate of everyone’s feelings. That’s all. Afterward, we’ll reconvene in my office to discuss where to go from here. Deal?”

“I guess so.” I shrugged even though I still wasn’t sure.

“All right.” Tommy nodded, though there wasn’t any enthusiasm in it.

The three of us walked back to the room in silence but Allisha smiled when we joined the others.

“Sorry about that. Tommy and Harley had a little misunderstanding, but since they’re both grieving the same person, we’re going to try again.” She sat down in her seat. “Now, who wants to start today?” She looked at Harley. “We usually start each session with something we feel we’ve done right this week, whether it’s related to your grief or not. There are no right or wrong answers. Why don’t you start, Harley?”

I frowned but then nodded. “I guess the one thing I’ve done right this week is that I’ve come to Harmony Place looking for answers. Answers I apparently have been trying to run away from until now.” I glanced at Tommy, but he was staring at the floor.

“Thank you. What about you, Quinn?”

“I re-activated my personal social media accounts,” he said after a moment. “I shut them all down because I didn’t want reminders of my wife to keep popping up on different feeds, but it’s time. I miss seeing what my friends are doing, seeing their kids growing up, all their celebrations. Lily wouldn’t have wanted me to be so closed off.”

“That’s great.” Allisha smiled warmly. “How about you, Mina?”

Mina was an elderly woman, probably in her seventies, though she was well-put together and had a face full of makeup. “I haven’t done a damn thing,” the woman admitted. “Unless you count the fact that I called my son last night to yell at him for forgetting my birthday.” She lifted her chin. “I’m really fucking tired of my kids taking me for granted.”

“Good for you!” Allisha nodded. “And that’s not nothing. You’re standing up for yourself and not letting your fear of being alone encourage your son’s ongoing thoughtless behavior.”

“I guess.” Mina had a small smile on her face.

“Tommy?” Allisha turned to him, and he looked up slowly.

“I don’t know,” he said after a slight hesitation. “I guess my good thing this week is that I’m here. Even though talking about my feelings is really hard, I’ve been trying, which is more than I’ve done in the past.”

“Excellent.”

The people in the group were nice.

Harriett was in her early thirties and a fairly well-known television star who’d lost her husband to cancer. She hadn’t gone back to work since it happened just over a year ago and had spiraled into a deep depression.

Betty was another woman who looked to be in her sixties or early seventies. She’d lost her wife six months ago, after forty years together, and was struggling with her will to live. I didn’t know the whole story, but the things she talked about broke my heart a little.

Finally, the group was rounded out with a well-known state politician whose struggles with alcoholism were well-known. Her name was Freya Colson and I’d actually considered voting for her in the last election, but ultimately, she was too conservative for my taste and I’d gone another way. From what I understood, she hadn’t been driving the car during the accident that had killed her husband but was struggling with the guilt that she might have been able to do something to prevent it had she been sober and/or awake.

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