Page 17 of Rock On

Like the fact that I’d let my ex fuck me so hard he’d left bruises.

River didn’t understand what had happened, but he knew something had.

And the older he got, the more he’d see.

“I kiss?” he asked, looking up at me.

“Sure.” I nodded, watching as he pressed a wet, sloppy kiss above the bruising on my wrist.

“Better?” he asked hopefully, looking up at me with wide, innocent eyes.

“All better,” I said, nodding.

I felt terrible, though.

As much as I didn’t want to admit it, Wynter was right.

Maybe I didn’t care much about what my grief was doing to me, I did care about how it might impact my son.

He needed me to be a good mom. I was the only parent he had left, and we didn’t have extended family. Wynter was all I had, since our parents had passed away, and Carter had been alone too. River wouldn’t have grandparents, and though he now had uncles from Onyx Knight—Zeke, Kingston, and Kellan—they were busy with their own lives.

So it was up to me to be mother, father, and almost every other role in his life.

“You can’t keep going this way,” Wynter said quietly once we’d finished eating and River left the room. I was loading the dishwasher while she put away the leftovers and I paused to look at her.

“What do you suggest?” I asked finally.

“Harmony Place.”

“Huh?” I had no idea what she was talking about.

She typed something into her phone and then handed it to me.

I stared at the words but they didn’t make sense at first.

Harmony Place is a leading provider of mental health and well-being services in a luxury setting. Offering a blend of holistic services and innovative scientific methods, patients will receive unparalleled care. Our mental health-focused programs can be in a group setting or on an individual basis, offering you the resources and guidance you need to live a fulfilling life, both during and after your stay.

I thrust the phone back at her.

“You want me to check myself into some sort of mental hospital?” I demanded.

She shook her head. “It’s not a mental hospital. It’s a five-star luxury treatment center for people with all kinds of issues from mental health to addiction to anorexia and more. You can stay for as little as a week, or as long as six months. You don’t have to?—”

“I’m not leaving River!” I snapped.

“You can go for a week or two and then switch to the outpatient program. Harley, you need this.”

“I’m going to find a new therapist,” I said. “But I’m not going to a mental hospital.”

She rolled her eyes. “Stop it. That’s not what this is. Presley and I can help with River while you find a way to cope with your grief and depression.”

“Just because I had sex with my ex doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me.”

I said the words but the moment they came out of my mouth it occurred to me that was exactly what it meant. Not just sleeping with Tommy, but the string of one-night stands I’d had after Carter’s death. My lack of interest in anything beyond my son.

The writing was on the wall.

I just needed to be strong enough to read it.

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