Page 107 of Rock On

“I’m sorry, babe. I love you. I do. I’m just not sure how to process this. I was thinking of calling Allisha on the drive to Vegas.”

“You should do that,” she murmured, looking away.

She was mad.

Hurt.

Frustrated.

I could tell just by looking at her but didn’t know how to fix this.

That tight feeling was back in my chest, choking me.

I hated what I was doing for both of us, but I had to get out of the house and away from her before I exploded or said something stupid.

“Uncle Tommy, are we going to Vegas now?” River came into the bedroom and looked up at me.

“I’m going to Vegas to work,” I told him. “And I’ll see you in a few days when I get back.”

“Okey-okey.” River seemed content with that answer even though it felt hollow to me.

We were supposed to be getting married and having a honeymoon.

All of our friends were planning to be in Vegas on Thursday so we could celebrate together.

Instead, I’d just said some dumb shit to Harley, all while feeling like I might vomit. The room felt incredibly hot and my chest really hurt.

I really had to get out of here.

Harley had turned and gone back into the closet, and I could hear the rustling of clothes, telling me she was unpacking her suitcase.

Dammit.

That wasn’t what I wanted, but right now it was what I needed.

“I’ll call you tomorrow!” I choked out as I picked up my bag and practically ran down to the garage.

What the hell was wrong with me?

Was I having a panic attack?

I felt a little clammy and nauseated, so I sat in the front seat of my car and took a few deep breaths.

I wasn’t a guy who got anxiety, yet that was what this felt like.

I hurriedly typed out a message to Allisha.

TOMMY: Hey, it’s been a shit show of a day. I really need to talk. Do you have any time?

ALLISHA: I’m about to start an emergency session with someone who’s having suicidal thoughts. Are you okay? Can this wait a couple of hours?

TOMMY: Yeah, nothing like that. Had a fight with Harley but I’m not going to hurt myself. Or her. Just frustrated.

ALLISHA: OK, I’ll call you as soon as I can, but it might be late?

TOMMY: I’ll be okay until then. Thanks.

I put the phone down feeling a bit better.

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