Page 106 of Rock On

But how could I marry her if I couldn’t trust her, and right now, I didn’t.

Everyone in the room had looked shocked when I’d made the statement, but then we’d made excuses and gotten out of there.

Harley hadn’t said a word on the drive home but now she put River in front of the TV and followed me up to our room. We were supposed to be on the road already since we’d planned to drive to Vegas.

“Tommy?” Her voice was soft. “Will you please talk to me?”

“I can’t right now,” I admitted. “I’m feeling a lot of things and I have to work through them before I can talk to you about them.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“But you still did something that impacts not just me, but the whole band. And we can’t get married with this hanging between us.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” she whispered, her voice breaking.

I sighed.

The thought had crossed my mind, but I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

We’d work through this.

We had to.

I just didn’t know how.

I didn’t know why I was so upset, but I was, and until I could work through it, I couldn’t talk to her about my feelings or even begin to get over it.

“No,” I said quietly, zipping up my suitcase.

“Then what’s happening? What are we doing?”

“I think you should stay here,” I said, finally looking up at her. “I need a couple of days to think and focus on playing. With this hanging over our heads, and my knee not fully healed, I think it’ll be a distraction to have you there.”

“Did you just call me a distraction?” Her eyes widened as she stared at me. “A few days ago we were planning a wedding and you were going to start the paperwork to adopt my son. Now I’m a distraction?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean it to sound that way. I just…need a couple of days. Can you give me that? Please?”

“And then what? You’ve already cancelled the wedding—are you just using this as a way to figure out how to break things off?”

“No. Jesus, no.” I took a step toward her but she backed away, her face wary.

“I thought we’d promised to start communicating better, and not to let misunderstandings control our actions?”

“This wasn’t a misunderstanding,” I said quietly. “This was something you did that impacts every facet of our lives.”

“It was a mistake!” she cried, throwing up her hands. “I didn’t mean to. I had no idea Freya was in cahoots with Aurora, or whatever the hell is going on. We don’t even know exactly what happened yet, but you won’t even talk to me about it?”

“We will. I promise. But everything is new between us, and if I’m honest, a little raw. Not to mention, we’re still working through a huge crisis in both our relationship and the death of our friend, and now this. It’s a lot. I can only compartmentalize so much. I need to be able to breathe for a minute.”

Had that come out as douchey as it sounded to my own ears?

Probably.

Harley looked like she was going to cry, but to her credit, she set her jaw and lifted her chin. “All right. Do what you have to do.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow after we’re done for the day.”

“Okay.”

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