“It doesn’t matter.”
“You bled. It does matter.”
“Why do you care?” she snaps, turning to me. “You’ve never cared about me once since we met. Why would me being a virgin change how you see me?”
“Because now I know you didn’t sleep with half the city.”
She crosses her arms. “And that somehow makes me better?”
“Yes.”
She scoffs, rolling her eyes. “You’re un-fucking-believable. I am a woman with worth no matter how many people I’ve been with. I didn’t want you to know.”
“But I had a right to know.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did.”
She huffs. “So, do I have the right to know how many women you’ve been with?”
I open and close my mouth. She points at me and says, “Aha! See? You don’t want to tell me. This is a two-way street here. If you know about my past sex life, or lack thereof, then I have the right to know about yours.”
“Fine. I’ve been with fifty-eight women.”
“Huh.”
“What does that mean?” I ask.
“I’m just not sure if I was expecting more or less. And how do you even remember?”
“Because I keep track of those things. I have a good memory.”
“And if I had been with fifty-eight men, would you have hated me for it?”
“I did hate you for it,” I tell her, not holding back. “Thinking you weren’t a virgin. But I also wanted to fuck you, so I chose to not let it bother me.”
“Do you even know why I didn’t have sex?” she asks in a softer voice.
“Because you have a conscience.”
She swats my arm. “Don’t make fun of me.” She pauses. “I didn’t have sex because I didn’t want to end up pregnant and risk ruining my dad’s reputation. I didn’t want him to be disappointed in me.” She doesn’t look at me as she speaks. “I’ve never wanted him to be disappointed in me. So, I just went to clubs and flirted. Sure, I kissed a few guys. So, you didn’t get my first kiss, by the way.”
I shrug.
“But I never did anything more,” she says. “So, that should make you happy. Now, you have something to hold over my head. My love for my dad and my fear of disappointing him. He’s always seen me as a little girl, and it’s hard for him to see me any differently. So, if you tell him what I got up to, it would crush him.”
“It’s not your father I want to see upset.”
She snorts. “What? So ,you want to see me upset?”
I think about it. Do I want to see that? Caterina drives me crazy, but … it’s also entertaining. She wouldn’t be herself without it.
The more I think about it, the more I realize … no. I don’t want to see Caterina upset. I just want her to be more aware of her actions and how they affect those around her. I want her to be the wife I can be proud of, and right now … she isn’t.
“No,” I admit. “I don’t want to see you upset. But you can’t lie to me as you did about your virginity. I had a right to know. I would have been gentler.”
She shakes her head, a small smile on her face. “No, you wouldn’t have.”