Page 16 of Ravished By Her

Kai rolled her eyes. “We’ll talk later.” She yawned and stood up.

“I’m going to take a shower.”

Sterling’s eyes lit up. “Need some company, honey?”

The look Kai gave her was heated. “Always.”

That was my cue to leave. I said goodnight as they headed to the bathroom together.

* * *

The sun was bright on Saturday and I had a fast breakfast before packing a bag and heading to the beach in Castleton, the next town over from Arrowbridge. I’d slept hard last night, so I was feeling fresh and ready to lounge on the sand and finish my book and start another and recharge my batteries.

The beach was crowded with tourists, but as long as I didn’t have to chat with anyone, I was fine staking out my little spot for my chair.

This was what I liked. There were people all around me living their lives and having a beautiful day and I could be part of it, but still have my own space. All I had to do was put on my headphones and sink into my book if I truly wanted solitude.

The air was sharp with the scent of salt and I breathed deeply, filling my lungs. It was refreshing after being in the dusty house all week.

My thoughts drifted back to Lacey. Had she thought about me at all today? Probably not. I couldn’t help but think about her, though. All these little moments I’d collected of her facade cracking and showing me who she was underneath.

I went back to my book, but then I felt restless. I got up and walked down the sand to where the ocean waves lapped at the shore. The water never seemed to get as warm as you wanted it to, but I waded in anyway. I breathed as my toes grew numb and a hermit crab crawled next to my foot.

My feet carried me further down the beach and I let myself wander, something I rarely did. Usually I didn’t go anywhere without a strict purpose. Sterling and I were opposites that way. She loved wandering. At least she had. Now she loved being with Kai. Sure, she still traveled, but now they were shorter trips, and with me living in the van, they were only really doing trips close to Arrowbridge. Could people just change like that? Go from being nomadic for years to staying in one place overnight and be content with that? I wasn’t so sure.

I completely lost track of time and everything else as I walked and reached the end of the beach where children clambered over rocks to find treasures in tidepools. I watched them, remembering when Sterling and I were kids and we’d do things like that. Well, Sterling would coax me into doing things like that. Even though I was older, she was the fearless twin. The one who took the first step to make sure it was safe before letting me follow. I’d never minded it, because I did have the fear. I often felt like I got all the fear and she got none of it. Over the years I’d gotten to be a master at hiding my fear, at pretending it didn’t exist. But it would always be there, coming for me in my weakest moments, making it so I couldn’t even breathe or move.

Sterling had always known when I was struggling. She’d crawl into my bed and hold me all night before my presentations and games and even when we weren’t together, she’d call me and stay on the phone with me all night. Just breathing with me until I fell asleep.

Ever since I lost my job, the fear had been simmering quietly in my blood all the time on a low level, so quietly I almost didn’t notice it.

Almost.

I leaned down and picked up a beautiful mussel shell. Purple and periwinkle and black and gray on the outside and so soft and pearl-like on the inside. I clutched it in my hand and kept walking, heading in the opposite direction to the other side of the beach.

* * *

My lunch was a lobster roll packed with meat that almost made my eyes roll back in my head it was so good. I chased it with ice cream that I savored with my eyes closed.

Eventually the sun got to be too much, so I packed up everything and went back to the van. Just looking at it made me want to scream, so I let myself into the house and headed for the shower.

After getting clean, I put on some pajamas and made myself some dinner in the kitchen, being careful as I ate it on the pink couch. I’d just gone back to reading when Sterling and Kai got back from their day adventure.

“How many books did you buy?” I asked when Sterling crashed through the door, her arms weighed down with heavy bags that could only contain one thing.

“Blame her,” she said, nodding at Kai, who also struggled to carry in her load.

“We’re both to blame,” Kai said, dropping her bags with a thunk. She let out a breath and stood up, rubbing her shoulder.

“Good thing we have plenty of room,” Sterling said, flopping on the couch next to me after she’d petted the leopard on the head. “And how was your day, Gwennie? Get up to any shenanigans?”

I rolled my eyes and turned off my ereader. “Just went to the beach. Nothing earth-shattering.”

Sterling snapped her fingers. “That reminds me, I got you some books.”

“And where am I supposed to put them? There isn’t a whole lot of room in the van.”

“The van is temporary, right? So you can just keep them here until you’re ready to move again,” Sterling said, riffling through the bags until she found what she wanted.

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