Page 45 of Allured By Her

We got everything in the cupcake pan and in the oven with minimal fuss and I put all the dishes in the dishwasher and turned it on.

Tenley’s phone went off and she read the message with a frown.

“Guess Shane has told everyone we broke up. Again,” she said in a monotone voice. Tenley put her phone on silent and put it with the screen facing down on the counter.

“I can’t wait for my brothers to give me even more shit,” she said, rubbing her eyes.

“Hey,” I said, touching her shoulder. “You don’t have to think about that right now. This is a safe space,” I said, gesturing at my tiny apartment.

“I wish it was,” she said. “I sometimes think about what would have happened if I’d moved away after college. If I’d picked a random city and gone there with nothing to start a new life.”

She pulled herself up until she was sitting on the counter with her bare feet swinging back and forth.

“I think about that too,” I said. “I always used to say when I was growing up that I wouldn’t be caught dead here after college. I was going to move far away and only come back on holidays. And then reality gave me a nice slap in the face.” College had left me completely beyond broke, and that had also been when my sister had decided she wanted to have a baby. I’d been living with my parents, but we basically were ships passing in the night, so I spent all my time over at Ingrid’s and learned really quick how to give her hormone injections and way more details about pregnancy than I wanted to. Guess it might come in handy later in life.

Right around the same time I knew it was time to get my own place, my parents said they were putting up the house for sale and moving to France Everything had worked out perfectly in the end. Sure, Arrowbridge wasn’t an awesome queer-friendly city with a great lesbian bar, but I had book club, didn’t I? And Lark and Sydney down the hall. If I got into a bind, I had people I could call that would come and lend me a hand. If I moved to another place, I’d have to completely start over and build all new relationships. Plus, then I wouldn’t be able to make my toys in my sister’s garage every weekend.

“Life is strange that way,” she said. “You picture how it’s going to be and then it’s nothing like that.”

“I definitely didn’t plan on being someone’s fake girlfriend,” I said.

“I didn’t plan on fake dating a woman to try and get my ex to come back,” she said, her lips lifting in a sad smile. “When I say it out loud, I can hear how completely silly it sounds. Why did I think that was going to work?” She met my eyes and I kept my mouth shut.

“No comment,” I said.

Tenley threw her hands up in the air. “Then why did you go along with it?”

“You know, I’ve been asking myself that this entire time. I have no answer for you.” I didn’t know if I ever would.

Now would probably be a good time to tell her that I wasn’t straight, but I couldn’t force my mouth to say the words.

Tenley inhaled through her nose and shook her head. “I don’t want to think about Shane anymore. He’s out of my life and that’s over. Done. Finished. Fuck him.”

“Fuck him,” I agreed. “I know it’s only been a minute, but do you want to date? Have a rebound?”

Tenley made a face. “No idea. I’m going to see if I can get through a week without having at least two breakdowns a day and then we’ll see.”

I laughed. “That’s probably smart. Rebounds can mess you up.”

“You sound like you speak from personal experience,” she said.

“Maybe a little bit,” I said. My first girlfriend in college had absolutely wrecked me and I’d gone immediately out to find someone else so I didn’t hurt all the time and then I’d fallen for her and gotten my heart broken twice in the space of a few months. Never again.

“We’ll find you the right guy,” she said.

“I’m good for now,” I said.

To avoid talking about dating men, I started wiping down the counters, but Tenley was staring at me.

“What?” I asked.

“I’m trying to figure out your taste in guys so I can be on the lookout,” she said.

“Tall,” I said. “Tall guys are good. And, um, handsome.”

Tenley snorted. “Obviously. But do you like more sensitive guys, or more sporty guys or what?”

“Uhhh, sensitive and sporty,” I said.

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