Page 69 of Surprised By Her

Chapter Twelve

Panic hit me the moment I woke up on Saturday and I didn’t know why. I threw the covers off my sweating body and told myself to take a deep breath. I fucking hated this. I hated it so much. I reached for my water bottle and my medication, swallowing the pills as quickly as I could and laying there to wait for them to kick in.

I grabbed my phone to try and distract my brain, but it didn’t work, so I forced myself to get up and get dressed in the outfit I’d picked out last night. Just in case I wanted to go in the pool, I put on my suit and another one of my caftans.

My face was pale in the mirror as I washed it and brushed my teeth before putting my hair up and then going downstairs. The barbecue wasn’t for a few hours, but it was easier being ready ahead of time than having to scramble.

“You look gorgeous, sweetie,” Mama said. “Do you think you can eat anything?”

“I can try some toast,” I said, sitting down in the breakfast nook.

“Of course,” Mama said, putting two slices in the toaster.

“Guess what we’re doing today?” Mom said, sitting next to me.

“Going on a date?” I asked.

“Yes!” Mama said, raising her spatula in the air. “We are going to pick out a new tent and then for lunch and then I found this house showing that we’re going to pretend we’re rich so we can go see. It was owned by a relative of the Kennedy’s, I heard.”

“That sounds like a great day,” I said. Not for the first time, I found myself jealous of my own parents. They were so in sync with each other. Each of them had their own hobbies and interests, but they meshed so well together. I thought again about what Sydney had said about how chemistry could overcome differences.

My parents had chemistry coming out their ears. Mom went over to Mama and pulled her into a dance hold, twirling her around the kitchen as she told the speakers to play the song they’d danced to at their wedding.

I watched them sway together, looking at each other as if they were the only two people in the world.

That. I wanted that. I ached for it so much I could barely breathe. The wanting was a good distraction from my anxiety, which was finally starting to subside a little with the distraction and the medication. I ended up getting my own toast so they could keep dancing together.

Ryan sent me a text message to let me know she was coming over early to get me if that was okay. I told her it was fine and asked why.

Is it weird if I say I want to hang out with them? You talk about them so much I feel like I already know them so well she sent.

I stared at the message as my heart did something funny that had nothing to do with anxiety.

It’s not weird at all I responded.

She showed up ten minutes later and I let her in.

“Hey,” I said.

She pulled something from behind her back. It was a massive bouquet of pink and yellow and white flowers. She also had a bag in her hand.

“I didn’t pick them, but they’re still pretty,” she said, almost apologetically.

“They’re gorgeous, thank you,” I said, taking them from her and walking toward the kitchen.

“Hello,” Ryan said as Mom and Mama looked over as if they’d been having a whispered conversation and we’d just interrupted.

“Ryan, it’s so nice to see you,” Mama said, going over to give her a hug.

“Oh, uh, it’s nice to see you,” she said. “I brought you a little something.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Mama said, but she snatched the bag anyway.

“It’s a dip set, and matching water bottles. I looked up what a good present for a gym teacher was,” she said, the words coming out a little fast. Her shoulders were hunched, which didn’t make her smaller but she was trying.

“This is beautiful, Ryan, thank you,” Mama said, looking at the box with the dip set. “That was so thoughtful.” Mama gave her another hug and Mom immediately went to the sink to wash her new water bottle out.

“I have wanted one of these things for ages, but I just couldn’t bring myself to buy one. This is fantastic.”

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