Page 87 of Unforgiven

“I hate to be trouble.”

“You’re here because the doctors and nurses feel that you need help, Tab. Asking for pain medication is not too much trouble. It’s why you’re here, jah?”

“Jah.”

“Hello, Ms. Yoder.” The nurse in yellow scrubs who came into the room a few minutes later was one Tabitha hadn’t seen before. “I’m Monica. I understand that your man here said you’re in some pain?”

Her cheeks heated in embarrassment. The nurses thought Seth was “her man.” “Yes.”

“How bad is it on a scale of one to ten?” she asked as she reached for Tabitha’s good wrist.

“Seven?”

“That’s not good.” Monica took her pulse and entered it on the computer screen. Next, she clicked on another icon on the flatscreen. “It’s been a while since your last dose. I’m glad you said something. You’ve got to stay on top of it.”

“Okay.”

Monica picked up her syringe, double-checked the amount and name, and then inserted it into Tabitha’s IV. “You should start feeling some relief before you know it. Ten minutes at the most.”

“Thank you.”

“If there’s no improvement, buzz again, okay?”

Tabitha nodded.

“Now, do you need anything else? More water? Maybe some juice and crackers?”

She glanced at Seth. He didn’t say a word, but she knew what he was thinking. “Juice and crackers sound good.”

He reached out and gently ran the tips of his fingers along her forearm. The soft touch encouraged the hair on her arm to stand up and chill bumps to form. Had her body ever reacted like that before? She couldn’t remember. She’d never responded like that to Leon, not even when he’d been courting her and had seemed so kind.

She knew now that her feelings for Leon had never been about love. At first, she’d been flattered by his regard, but then that had slowly disintegrated into a desire to please him. Then that had turned to fear. If she’d ever gotten chill bumps with him, they’d been from trepidation, not desire. Not love.

Was that how she felt about Seth? Had she fallen in love with him? Did she even know what love felt like?

And did he feel the same way? Or was he simply trying to take care of her because he knew she was alone? Worse, maybe he pitied her? How mortifying would that be, to realize that she loved Seth but he only felt pity for her. Feeling confused, she drew her arm closer to her body.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked.

“Nee.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yes.”

Looking concerned, Seth leaned closer. “Tabitha, tell me what you’re thinking. You don’t have to be afraid to be honest.”

“I . . . I don’t know what you want me to say.” Her cheeks burned. She was starting to wish the nurse would’ve asked him to leave. Or that Monica would’ve given her a stronger painkiller that would make her too tired to visit. Then, at least, her nerves wouldn’t feel so frayed and worn. But she’d also be alone with her thoughts when she woke up again.

She released a ragged sigh.

“How’s the pain? Have you noticed any difference?”

“Jah. It is better.” He didn’t need to know that she was only just now realizing that the pain had subsided to a dull ache.

Seth smiled. “I’m glad.”

“Perhaps it would be best if you left now.”

---