Page 61 of Unforgiven

He shook his head. “That isn’t what’s happening.”

“But that’s how it feels to me. Please leave, Seth.”

He didn’t budge. “You do have a choice. You know that, right?” He lowered his voice. “Just like you had a choice about marrying Leon. Just like you had a choice about what to do the first time he hit you.”

Each word stung. Not just because Seth believed what he was saying but because he obviously had no inkling about what her life had been like. “Don’t tell me that. You have no idea about my choices, Seth.”

“Why did you stay with Leon for so long? What did he have over you that you couldn’t escape from?”

“You don’t need to know.”

“But you need to tell someone!”

“Fine. On my second date with Leon, we went down to Cripple Creek and drank. I was living in my family’s dawdi house back then. When I woke up the next morning, my clothes were off. I didn’t know what had happened. I couldn’t remember anything.” Still feeling embarrassed, she added, “Leon later told me that we’d had sex.”

Everything in Seth’s expression changed. Surprise, anger, pity . . . all of it appeared in his eyes. They were all the things she’d felt that awful, awful morning, and his compassion was almost too much to bear. A lump formed in her throat as she held on to the rest of her composure like a lifeline.

“Tab . . .” he whispered.

She shook her head. “No. Let me finish. Now that I know about such things, I . . . I think he put something in my drink. I don’t know. But he blackmailed me, Seth. If I didn’t agree to marry him right away, he was going to tell the school board. I would’ve gotten fired. My reputation would’ve been ruined.”

“Sounds like he used the date rape drug on you. If you had gone to the police or the hospital, they would’ve found Rohypnol in your system. Leon would’ve been charged with a felony.”

Tears pricked her eyes. She’d done so much to protect her reputation and she’d lost it all—and so much more—anyway.

Releasing a ragged sigh, she said, “It doesn’t matter now. I didn’t go to the police. I didn’t tell a single person about what happened. Instead, I married Leon, soon learned what life as his wife was like, and lived in fear twenty-four hours a day. You don’t know what it’s like to have every choice taken from you.”

“I have a pretty good idea. I was in prison.”

“Yes, you were. I’m sorry for the accident and that you had to spend time behind bars, but you weren’t completely innocent, Seth. You chose to get involved. You chose to fight Peter when he turned on you. You could have walked away.”

“And you couldn’t ever walk away?” He raised an eyebrow.

Her temper flared. “The man who promised me and God that he would care for and honor me abused me in countless ways for years. I wasn’t allowed to do one thing of my own free will, Seth Zimmerman.”

He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, you shouldn’t have even thought it. But you did.” She walked to the door and held it open. “Now will you please leave, or should I call the deputy back and ask for his help?”

“No. I am sorry, Tabitha.” When she remained silent, he studied her face one long moment, then walked out the door.

The moment Seth was across the threshold, she locked the door. Then, just like she used to do, she peeked at him through the windowpane. But secretly, barely disturbing her curtains.

This time, instead of watching him approach, she watched him leave. Stared as he descended the front steps. Noticed how he strode forward, and how his pace picked up steam with each foot of distance. Like he couldn’t get out of her sight fast enough.

Which made her realize yet again that she’d been such a fool. She’d thought he’d never noticed her watching him, but he had. He’d noticed everything she’d done. Just like Leon had.

But instead of judging her and finding fault with everything, Seth had encouraged her to believe in herself.

Instead of hurting her, he’d helped her heal.

Instead of ignoring her wishes, he’d honored them.

Encouraged her.

She supposed he was doing the same thing now. Even though he hadn’t been shy about voicing his thoughts, he’d still left. After apologizing.

Just like she’d asked him to.

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