Page 41 of Unforgiven

He heard the defensiveness in her tone. “I meant doing anything by herself.”

“Do you know why she wanted to speak to him?”

“Nee.”

“Really?”

He shrugged. “Bethanne made it clear that what she had to speak to Seth about didn’t concern me. What did Seth say?”

“He was more forthcoming, but I think that’s because he was as in the dark as I was.”

“Did he seem upset about this meeting?”

“About talking to Bethanne? Nee. Not upset.” She bit her lip, then murmured, “Maybe more like worried about what she could want?”

“I can see that, since that’s how I feel as well.”

She smiled as she moved toward him. “Is it bad that I’m glad to have an opportunity to see you?”

He stood. “I hope not, because I feel the same way.” After making sure their siblings were out of sight, Lott reached for her hands. She placed both of hers in his, and warmth spread through him.

Maybe he hadn’t needed to build a fire after all.

15

Seth rarely worried about how other people perceived him anymore. He figured living behind bars surrounded by criminals and guards did that to a person.

When he’d returned home, he’d been ostracized. Most people in the Amish community acted as if he didn’t exist, and the few who did acknowledge him did so with varying degrees of warmth. He’d pretended not to notice and lived his life, certain that God still loved him and was on his side. If someone at the market or on the street found fault with him, he shrugged off their concerns.

The only exception to this was Tabitha. She was so damaged, he didn’t want to ever be the cause of more pain for her. So he was tentative around her. Hesitant. But not because he was nervous. He just wanted to set her mind at ease. To be the person she needed him to be so she could come out of her shell.

However, this walk with Bethanne Hostetler proved Tabitha wasn’t the only exception. In spite of the chill in the air, his palms were sweating and he felt like he wasn’t getting enough oxygen. Bethanne didn’t look any more comfortable than he was.

Seth didn’t know her very well, so he stayed silent. She had been the one to request the meeting, and he didn’t want to start talking or asking questions before she had the chance to speak her mind.

But as their walk continued and she barely looked at him, dark thoughts slid into his head. Maybe she hadn’t called the meeting at all. Maybe she’d felt pressured to speak with him, though he couldn’t imagine why that would be. After another two minutes passed, he couldn’t take the silence any longer.

“Did you change your mind about talking, Bethanne?” he asked.

“Oh, nee. I still want to.”

“Where would you like to have this discussion, then? Do you want to keep walking or stop?” He knew it didn’t matter, but he needed to take some control.

She stopped. When she glanced behind them, her eyes widened. “I wanted to get far enough away that our conversation would be private, but I didn’t realize we walked so far. We can stop now.”

They were on a narrow stretch of the dirt path. A patch of poison oak covered the ground just a couple of inches from his feet.

He gestured to a spot several feet ahead. “How about we go to that spot up by the rock? We could sit down.”

“All right. I’ll follow you.”

When they reached the clearing, he sat down on the ground, more than ready to hear whatever was on her mind.

Bethanne sat down on a good-sized rock. She was a graceful thing. Back before the whole Peter Miller incident, she’d been a popular girl. All the boys had their eyes on her.

“Seth, I wanted to apologize to you again for ruining your life.”

This was what she’d needed to say? “You’ve already apologized. Plus, that first apology was unnecessary. What happened between me and Peter had nothing to do with you.”

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