Page 33 of Sycamore Circle

His mouth went dry. Why had he said anything? “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know, or you don’t remember?”

Mary, who’d been walking by, rapped her knuckles on the table. “Bo, settle down and be nice to Finn. He’s not one of your ex-cons.” Turning to Finn, she winked. “Don’t be nervous, and don’t take any more than fifteen minutes, hon. I’m gonna need your help if anyone else comes in.”

“All right.”

When she walked away, both of the men were staring at him. Feeling like they were sizing him up and finding him wanting, he didn’t say anything. Just continued to sit there.

“I’m guessin’ Mary told you that I jumped the fence a while back,” Seth said.

“She did, but I already knew that.”

“Are you thinking about it? Seriously?” He lowered his voice. “Or, are you just wondering about what it would be like? Either way is all right.” Seth’s tone was gentle but held a note of steel in it too. It told Finn loud and clear that he wanted Finn to be honest.

“I’m seriously thinking about leaving.”

“Why?” Bo asked. When Finn hesitated, Bo added, “If you do something like this, everyone’s going to be asking you, right?”

It was hard to believe, but he’d never had to actually cite why he wanted to jump the fence. Until this moment, it had always felt like it was a secret wish that never had any hope of actually coming true. “I’m tired of pretending to be someone I’m not,” he blurted before he lost his nerve.

Looking satisfied, Bo leaned back. Then, to Finn’s surprise, he nodded. “That makes a lot of sense.”

“It does?” His neck heated as he realized that he was likely squeaking.

“Have you told your folks?” Seth asked.

“I’ve kind of told mei mamm, but not really.”

“They’ll be mad, I reckon.”

“Jah. My mother will be upset, but my daed will be mad. It don’t matter. He’s mad at me all the time anyway.”

Both men eyed him intently. “What does that mean?” Bo asked. His tone was much softer. Almost gentle.

Feeling emotionally naked, Finn weighed the pros and cons of being too honest, but then figured he had nothing to lose. “It means mei daed and I don’t have much to say to each other. It means he don’t like much about me and isn’t afraid to show it.” He swallowed. “Now that I’m older, I don’t care to live under his thumb for much longer.”

Bo frowned. “Is he hurting you, boy?”

There was a new edge to Bo’s voice. It took Finn off guard until he realized that Bo’s anger wasn’t directed at him, but rather for him. That difference made the way Bo called him boy almost easier to take. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.” It was nothing like it used to be—before Finn got big enough to fight back.

Seth and Bo exchanged looks again before Seth spoke. “Finn, have you been baptized yet?”

“Nee.”

“Okay, so you won’t be shunned.”

Finn shrugged. He didn’t want to be shunned because he didn’t want to be forbidden to see his younger brothers and sisters. However, if he left, his daed would likely forbid them to talk to him anyway.

That was going to be hard. He worried about missing his siblings. He hoped the little ones wouldn’t hate him for it.

But he wasn’t worried about the Lord being upset with him. He’d started talking to God on his own years ago. Though it wasn’t something that he was comfortable sharing, he was pretty sure the Lord was still going to have his back whether he was Amish or not.

Seth continued. “You got a job here, which is a good start. Where are you looking to live? Or do you even want to stay nearby?”

“I think I’d like to, just to be near my little brothers and sisters, but I haven’t thought that far.”

“Well, you might want to, from time to time.” Smiling encouragingly, Seth added, “What was your favorite subject in school?”

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