Page 80 of Foster

To my relief, she melts into me and I take that as acquiescence that although she might be thinking of quitting her job, she’s clearly not quitting me yet.

A kiss isn’t enough and it’s not what I brought her into my bedroom for. She’s in here because I need every inch of her in a way that I’ve never needed anyone before. The last several hours have rattled me, made me realize the fragility of relationships and bonds, and I don’t want to go another minute taking what I have with her for granted.

She doesn’t challenge me when I strip off her clothes. Instead, she watches me with hungry eyes as I discard mine. I lie her on the bed and kiss every inch of her body. She writhes and moans as I wring an orgasm out of her with my mouth and doesn’t protest in my urgency to have her by merely surging up her body and driving in deep.

Mazzy clings to me as I claim her body and it’s my hope that she’s giving me small pieces of her soul through this act of intimacy. I come brutally hard, thinking of her fighting off Sandra to keep Bowie Jane safe, and I sag onto her thoroughly depleted.

She lies still after I roll us to the side. I stroke her lower back and say the second-most important thing on my mind. “I cannot thank you enough for what you did for Bowie Jane yesterday. What you did for me by keeping her safe. There is no one in this world I trust more than you, Mazzy.”

Lifting her head slightly, she kisses my jaw before murmuring, “No thanks are necessary. I love that kid, and you know it.”

Yeah, I do know it well. And after talking to Bowie Jane this morning, I know my kid loves her in return. Mazzy is the one who made her feel safe and secure yesterday.

“What are you going to do?” Mazzy asks, one hand coming to my chest to draw light patterns with her fingertips.

“I talked to my attorney after I dropped off Bowie Jane. He’s preparing a motion to modify my custody to a permanent nature as well as a protective order that she cannot come on my property without explicit permission.”

“Does he think the judge will grant it?”

“Yes, because it was pretty damning that she packed a suitcase to take Bowie Jane somewhere. It’s heightened the threat she could jet out of the country with her although he talked to Sandra’s attorney first thing this morning and she’s claiming she was merely taking her to her hotel in Pittsburgh for some mother-daughter time.”

“Bullshit,” Mazzy mutters, and I chuckle, drawing her in closer.

“Yeah, it’s bullshit. She’s also claiming there was no problem in her doing that because she’d told me she was coming to visit and I never opposed it, therefore I’d given her permission.”

“Also bullshit. But will that work?”

“Jared seems to think the judge will see through that. I won’t ask you again to press charges, but the fact she physically assaulted you to get to Bowie Jane is important. I might need you to give a statement about that.”

“Of course I will,” she assures me, and then to my surprise, she rolls away, right out of bed where she bends down to grab her panties.

I’m momentarily lost in watching her get dressed and then it occurs to me she’s no longer in my arms, but I still need to say the most important thing to her.

“What are you doing?” I ask, rising up on one elbow.

Mazzy snaps her bra into place, then retrieves her jeans. She doesn’t look at me as she threads her legs into the denim. “Maybe you and I should cool things down.”

Narrowing my eyes, I ask, “What does that mean?”

She lifts her head and locks eyes with me. “I mean… maybe I should just go back to being her nanny.”

“That’s not going to fucking happen,” I assert adamantly, rolling out of the bed and striding around it to her. I don’t bother getting dressed. “What’s this all about? What about yesterday has changed your feelings for me?”

Mazzy shakes her head, her palms coming to my chest. “My feelings for you have not changed.” I should feel relief, but I don’t. She wants to break up and I need to hear why so I can fix it. “But if Sandra gets hold of this knowledge… that you and I are an item, that can cause problems for your bid for permanent custody. All she has to do is paint some sordid tale about you banging the nanny and not paying attention to Bowie Jane—”

“That’s not true,” I say.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s true,” Mazzy replies with a huff of frustration, pushing her hair back from her face. “It only matters if she says it and it could cause problems for you. I don’t want to be the cause of that.”

“And that’s why you won’t press charges? So you don’t inflame Sandra?”

Mazzy refuses to answer, instead saying as she drops her gaze, “Maybe this is all too confusing for Bowie Jane and I’m a distraction. You should put all your focus on your daughter.”

I’m not going to allow that, so my fingers go under her chin and I force her to look at me. “I’m focused on my daughter just fine. She’s my priority but that doesn’t mean I don’t have room for you too.”

“But Bowie Jane is going through some really messed-up stuff with her mother. I don’t want to confuse her as she sees us getting closer. I don’t want her to have to choose between affection for me and loving her mom.”

“Okay, you need to stop right now,” I order. I have to prevent the snowball from getting bigger as it rolls downhill. “First, you and I have been transparent with Bowie Jane, and we continue to have open communication with her about our relationship. There won’t be confusion because she knows exactly what we are. And she doesn’t have to choose between her affections because she has already declared her love for you. It’s not something she’s contemplating and it’s not an either-or thing. She loves you for who you are and if you want proof of that, it was yesterday when her mom was beckoning for her to leave and you told her to go to her room. She chose your wisdom and trusted you, not her mother.”

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