Page 10 of A Second Chance At Forever

I placed my hand over his that was still on my cheek and nodded while more tears fell freely.

“I love you,” he whispered as he moved in for a kiss.

“I love you, too.”

I woke from the light invading my dreams of when Mason and I were together. I sat up to find the bottle of Jack still in my hand. I looked at the bottle, black label peeling off, brown liquid begging to be drunk, I unscrewed the cap and took a drink.

Way to go, Lennox. You can finally classify yourself as an alcoholic. Not even out of bed and drinking whiskey? What the fuck is wrong with me?

My phone started ringing and I glanced at it on the bedside table, but didn’t bother reaching for it. The minute it silenced, it started again. I knew it wouldn’t stop. Finally, I sat the bottle down and answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Lennox, I’m so sorry. Please talk to me, babe.” Chris’ voice was thick and heavy.

“What do you want me to say, Chris?” I threw myself back against the soft pillows that didn’t want me to leave them.

“Say you forgive me. I don’t know what the fuck happened yesterday, but I promise, it will never happen again. I don’t know what got into me. Please say you forgive me. Don’t leave me, babe. I couldn’t stand losing you. Will you go to lunch with me so I can show you how sorry I am?”

“I don’t know, Chris. I’m not feeling well.” He didn’t need to know that I drank half a bottle of Jack all to myself while fantasizing about my ex.

“Then I will bring lunch to you. We can hang out in bed, watch TV, and eat. I just need to see you. Please?” he pleaded.

“Okay. I want Chinese food.”

“I will bring all your favorites. I love you, babe. I will be there soon.”

I tossed the phone down beside me before reaching back for my bottle of Jack.

I unscrewed the cap slowly, thinking about Mason, my past, my future, and Chris. I took a long drink.

It burned its way down my throat again. It was something I longed for. It was something I always reached for, knowing it would numb the pain.

I know what you’re thinking. Poor superstar, she can’t handle being rich and famous. The truth was, I couldn’t. I hated it in fact. I hated the person it turned me into. I didn’t even recognize my own reflection anymore. I didn’t want to live in a penthouse apartment. I didn’t want to be followed by bodyguards. I didn’t want Chris or the engagement I had somehow stumbled into.

The only thing I wanted was my past. I wanted Mason. I wanted to be happy and loved.

Seeing the pictures of Mason happy with another woman, it felt like leaving him all over again. Just thinking of that picture made my chest hurt. I took one last drink before hiding the bottle in my nightstand.

I forced myself from the bed and took a quick shower.

Shortly after, Chris showed up with two bags full of takeout. We cuddled up in bed, ate, and watched a movie. I didn’t bring up what happened the day before.

I know, I was a dumbass, but after seeing the pictures of Mason, I just needed someone to be with.

I was lonely. Even Chis’ presence wasn’t enough to fill the void, but it was better than a bottle of whiskey. I knew there was only one person that could fill the void inside of me, and it was time that I admitted it.

Chris acted like nothing had happened after saying what he did on the phone. We both took the day off and just hung out together. In a way, it was nice. It was almost like we were just a regular couple. We ate and watched TV before falling asleep in each other’s arms. It wasn’t the arms I wanted, but something was better than nothing.

---