Page 8 of A Second Chance At Forever

“Is today okay?”

I took a deep breath. That was the last thing I wanted to do. “Yeah, get all the dresses here and we can go through them.”

We said our good-byes and I tossed the phone down. I threw myself back on my bed staring up at the white ceiling.

That picture I saw on Mason’s profile was haunting me. I didn’t think he would’ve still been holding out for me, but a part of me hoped that he would. I was still his, even though we hadn’t spoken in years.

Suddenly the life I could’ve had started to play out before my eyes. I saw myself in that picture instead of that other girl. I saw Mason and I sitting together on his balcony, my stomach swollen with our first baby. I could see the love in his eyes like he was standing right in front of me. My heart picked up just from picturing those intense ice-blue eyes.

No good will come of this, Lennox. Stop it before you get lost in a life you will never have.

I made myself stop daydreaming and forced myself to get dressed. I felt off, depression was sitting over me. I knew I had fucked up my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved being able to go on tour and perform for millions of people, but I wasn’t sure it was worth the cost.

I thought about that ride home from Mason’s. How fate was offering me two roads, and I was only allowed to choose one.

I picked the wrong road.

Shortly after the phone call, Alissa was letting herself and a few others into my apartment to set up the racks of dresses.

Alissa had been my assistant since I went to Tennessee. She was only a couple years older than me and very easy to get along with. I thought of her as more of a friend than someone who worked for me. We were so close that she followed me to California when I moved so she could continue to work for me.

Alissa picked up a dress and tossed it down. “What’s with you today, you don’t seem like yourself?”

“I don’t know. I just feel like I’m stuck in a rut, you know?”

“Stuck in a rut? Are you crazy? You just accepted a marriage proposal from the hottest actor in town!” Her voice was laced with excitement that made her blue eyes shine from beneath her black framed glasses.

I forced a smile, trying not to give anything away, but I knew that it didn’t meet my eyes. “I’m not exactly sure that I’m going to go through with it.” I shook my head while keeping my eyes on the dresses.

“What? Why?” Her face showed nothing but concern as she handed me another dress.

I eyed the long beige dress that shimmered when the light hit it and tossed it onto the couch. “It’s not something I can talk about right now.” My eyes bounced around to all the random people surrounding us.

Alissa nodded understanding and dropped the subject before looking through more dresses.

After hours of looking at dresses, I had finally made my decision.

It was a long, flat black dress. It was strapless and hugged all my curves perfectly until it reached my knees where it flowed out. It was beautiful, but not over the top. Classic, as Alissa called it.

Alissa told everyone to pack up and they began shuffling around me, rolling the racks of dresses out the door. Once the last rack was rolled out and Alissa and I were left alone, we made our way to my office where I pulled out a bottle of Jack. I turned around and grabbed two glasses off the cart and poured us both a drink.

Alissa took her glass and took a small sip. I threw my drink back like it was going to expire before I could get it to my lips. I sat the glass down and poured another.

Her eyes doubled in size. “Okay, you have to tell me what’s going on.” She leaned forward in her chair and pushed her long blonde hair behind her ears.

“What makes you think something is wrong?” I picked up the glass, swirling the brown liquid, not meeting her gaze.

“Lennox, we’ve known each other for a while now. I know you well enough to know when something is going on. Not to mention, you only drink this way when something is bothering you. Spill it.” Her blue eyes pierced into me as her eyebrows rose.

I sat down my drink and laid my head on the glass desk. “I can’t marry him.” I shook my head while willing the tears away. I couldn’t look at her. She knew me better than anyone, well, almost anyone. I knew if she saw me break down she would be concerned.

“What? Why? I thought you guys couldn’t keep your hands off one another?”

Just hearing that made my stomach roll.

Finally, I picked my head up off the desk and forced my eyes to hers. “I never intended on letting it get this serious. He was supposed to be temporary. Then he proposed, and I said yes? What the fuck is wrong with me? What am I going to do?” I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the desk and holding my head in my hands.

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