Page 27 of A Second Chance At Forever

6

Lennox

Did I love Chris? Did I ever?

“No, there was a short time when I may have tricked myself into believing that I did. But, I never did,” I shook my head before staring into the ice-blue that was cutting into me. “There was something holding me back. I realized a long time ago that I no longer had my heart. I left it here with you.”

That seemed to take him by surprise. He ran his hands through his dark hair and a smile spread across his face. “I know the feeling.” Mason tipped up his beer and finished it off. He gestured for Wendy. She came over and he ordered us another round.

“What happened Lennox? How did we drift apart so easily?” he asked with sadness in his eyes.

I offered a small smile before answering, “It was my fault. I never should have left you. You’re with someone else now and happy. I shouldn’t have come back here.” I shook my head and stood from the table.

He caught my hand in his. “Don’t,” his eyes were pleading with me. I watched as his jaw flexed and his Adam’s Apple bobbed in his throat. I felt tingles spread throughout my body just from his hand touching mine. It was like a bolt of lightning, stopping me dead in my tracks. “Please stay. You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this day.”

I couldn’t deny him, not with that look in his eye. I sat back down and was happy when Wendy brought over our drinks. I needed to numb the feelings that were bubbling to the surface. The only thing I wanted to do was kiss his lips, taste him, and feel him pressed against me, but I couldn’t do those things. He wasn’t mine and hadn’t been for a long time. And as badly as I wanted to take him back, I couldn’t screw up his life. God knew I had screwed up mine enough.

After taking our shots, I looked back to Mason. He looked so happy sitting across from me.

Had he really been waiting for me all this time?

“What are we doing? You’re already with someone, aren’t you afraid I will fuck up your life again?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what this is. That’s why I came tonight. I have to find out if,” his ice-blue eyes shined as they looked into mine. “If, you still love me. I can’t go on without knowing. Every day since we broke up, I’ve wondered if you were going to come back to me. Then, when I finally give up and accepted that you would never be mine again, here you are. Are you here for me? Are you staying?”

I didn’t know what to say.

Yes, I still love you. Yes, I am here for you. But, do I say that? Do I ruin what he has with Nicole if I don’t even know if I am going to stay? Do I want to give up my career and move back home? When I left, I only thought about getting away from Chris. I thought Mason had moved on and wouldn’t want anything to do with me after breaking his heart.

“I do still love you, Mason. I always have and I think I always will. I won’t ever be able to leave us behind.” I raised my eyes to his and saw a glimmer of hope. “But I don’t have the answers to your other questions yet. I didn’t have a plan when I came back. I just had to get away. I don’t know if I want to go back and I don’t know if I’m ready to give up on my career. I do know that I don’t want to ruin what you and Nicole have. If you’re happy, I don’t want to mess that up for you.” I hoped he understood.

“Let’s get out of here. I can’t think with all this going on.” He stood from the table, reaching his hand for mine.

I took his hand and he pulled me from the bar. We were approached by another group of fans but Mason wouldn’t stop or release me to talk to them. I was thankful for that. They all wanted to know what I was doing there and about the wedding. Questions I couldn’t answer or didn’t want to answer, anyway.

Mason led me down the gravel road and onto his boat. I should have known that was where he wanted to go. He helped me over the side and I took my seat as he started up the boat and pulled away from the dock.

Instantly, the boat bouncing off the choppy water made my ribs ache in protest. I breathed through the pain and hoped that he didn’t notice. It was a good thing I drank as much as I did. I knew the pain would have been unbearable without it.

The wind blew through my hair and the salt water sprayed up into a mist that covered my face. I closed my eyes and sat back letting the air and water wash over me. It almost felt like the first-time Mason had taken me on his boat.

The heat of the night mixed with the mist of the cool water made me feel sticky and excited. The drinks of the night had kicked in full force and everything brought back memories. Memories from a happier time. A time when Mason was mine.

After he turned off the boat and dropped anchor. He turned on some music and held out his hand. “Dance with me.”

I was filled with so many emotions, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to dance with him. I wanted to feel his strong chest against mine, to be wrapped in his muscular arms, but I had to remind myself that he wasn’t mine anymore, that he belonged to someone else. But I didn’t care, he was mine in some way. He always had been.

I took his hand and we stood between the seats. There wasn’t much room to dance, but I knew we would hold one another more than dance, anyway.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and breathed in his intoxicating scent that I had missed so much.

He softly placed his hands on my hips and pulled me against his hard chest. Everything felt right, I was finally where I was supposed to be.

“Tell me that you will stay,” Mason whispered in my ear as his hot breath blew across my cheek.

I lifted my head to look into his eyes. “I’ll stay, for now.”

He shook his head. “That’s not what I mean. I want you to stay. Here, with me. Forever. I can’t lose you again.”

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