Page 33 of F*cking Shattered

I love you,

Jovi

I close the notebook and clutch it to my chest. I feel my eyes tear up from thinking that this is the only way I can talk to her now. I’ll never see her face or hear her voice again. For the first week, I repeatedly called her cell just so I could hear the recording. Each and every time, it just made it worse for me. Katie was the glue that held me together, and now that she’s gone, I’m falling to pieces.

I squeeze my eyes shut to keep the tears from falling. I try to calm my breathing and relax. My heart rate slows as I drift off into a deep sleep.

Katie and I are watching MTV in her living room when her dad walks through the front door. He usually stops to say hi to us, but today, he walks straight through to the kitchen. After a couple minutes of quiet, the silence is broken when the sound of something crashing fills my ears.

“How could you not tell me about this?” Mary, Katie’s mom, screams.

“Honey, please calm down. It was a long time ago. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know there was anything to tell,” George explains.

I look over at Katie and she rolls her eyes. “Who knows what they’re fighting about now.”

We’re fifteen, but in this moment, she looks like a little girl who always gets afraid when her parents fight.

I know she needs me right now. I place my hand in hers and squeeze. “I’m sure everything will be okay. Do you want to go outside and take turns on the swing?”

She offers a small smile and nods before we stand and head out the front door.

* * *

“Wake up, sleepyhead. We’re here.”

I jump awake and rub the sleep from my eyes. I look around us to find we’re parked in a hotel parking lot. “Where are we?”

“Somewhere in Arizona.” He removes the keys from the ignition and opens his door to step out.

“God, are we ever going to get out of this state?”

He opens the back door and grabs our bags. “Maybe if we don’t stop every hour.” His eyes narrow on me as wrinkles form at the edges.

“I’m sorry. I have to pee!”

We both walk around the car and he wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Let’s check in and then we’ll find some place to eat.”

We find a bar and grill and take a seat as we wait on a waitress. The place is crowded and appears to be more of a bar than a grill. There are pool tables, dart boards, and a jukebox, along with a big stage and dance floor. The front of the building was lined with motorcycles and all the bikers are gathered at the bar. They are loud and rowdy, but I try to ignore them as I look over the menu.

The jukebox kicks on, playing Pour Some Sugar on Me, and River leans back, placing his arm across the bench seat. “So how about that strip show?” He winks at me.

I laugh out loud. “No way! We’d be kicked out. Plus, I don’t want those fat, hairy bikers drooling all over me. I’m not so sure you could take them.”

He scoffs. “I’m not worried about them.”

I nod with a fake smile, not so sure.

We eat and stick around to have a few drinks, just enjoying being out of the car. The bar continues to fill with people and it’s growing louder and louder.

At ten, the main lights shut off and the bar dims. Black lights come on just as someone takes the stage. I turn to watch, hoping for a live band, but to my surprise, it’s karaoke.

I shrink down into my seat as River turns quickly to look at me, excitement written on his face. “How perfect is this?”

“Not happening, dude.” I shake my head.

“Waitress! Another round!” he shouts.

I’m still not agreeing. “No fucking way.”

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