Page 58 of F*cking Shattered

Is he trying to make me believe his words? Is he trying to make me forget that he said them because of my reaction?

I don’t know, so I do the only thing I know how. I kiss him back. Feeling everything he has to give me, but refusing to search inside myself to see what I truly feel for him. I’m still too broken for that.

I turn and crawl up his body until I’m straddling him. His hands land on my hips as he squeezes them. He pulls away. “I can’t do this yet.”

I feel let down, but I knew this. He’s hurt. I’m sure having a needle shoved in that part of your body will leave some lasting effects.

“I know. I just wanted to feel close to you. Give you something since I’m not quite ready to give you those words yet.”

His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat as his eyes darken. He stands with me in his arms, I squeal from the sudden movement. I hold on around his neck until I feel my back hit the bed with him standing over me. “What are you doing?”

His fingers slide into the waistband of my shorts as he pushes them down my legs. “Just because I can’t, doesn’t mean you can’t.

He leans down, putting his mouth on me. His tongue runs between my folds and circles around my hard nub. Every once in a while, his wet tongue flicks over it, causing a surge of lightening to jolt through me.

He teases me with his mouth for what feels like hours. When I feel myself building, he changes pace, letting it slip away only to repeat the process of pushing me to the edge, just to pull me back.

I’m moaning and whimpering, pleading for my release, but he doesn’t relent. I’m dripping with need, I can no longer control the way my hips are moving, trying to get more of him.

His hands latch on to my hips, stopping my movements as he continues with his torture.

I try sliding my hands down to my sex to release my orgasm myself, and he pushes them away, holding them at my sides. “Not until I say.” His voice is thick and full of desire.

He keeps pace, teasing me without release, finally he pulls away and I whimper, missing his touch. “Fuck it.” He pulls his jeans down and crawls up my body. I don’t refuse even though I should to keep him from hurting himself. His dick is practically throbbing while it stands at attention. He places himself at my entrance and pushes forward, gently.

He lets out a deep throaty sound just from being inside me. “You feel so good wrapped around me, Jovi.”

My release is building even though he isn’t moving. “River, please move. I’m about to come already.”

His lips crash with mine as he gently slides out and softly pushes back in. His movements are so soft compared to how it usually feels. But my body doesn’t care. It will take what it can get. My toes curl as my muscles tighten. Just as my orgasm rises again, he thrusts inside of me and fills me while I break around him.

His mouth is open with his eyes closed as he comes down from his high. He looks completely fucking erotic and it makes me want more of him, but I’m afraid of hurting him.

“How’s he doing down there?”

He slides out of me and falls to my side. “Never better.”

“It didn’t hurt?”

“Fuck no. It felt too good to even last.” He pulls me against him. “I’ve missed you.” His hand travels from my navel down to the wet junction between my legs. “I don’t think you’re ready to stop yet.” His fingers slide between my lips.

“I’m okay, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I promise you can’t hurt me.” His breath blows across my skin as his fingers move quicker, bringing my orgasm to the surface again.

Chapter Fourteen

As the summer goes by, River and I only get closer. And with each passing day, I’m that much closer to admitting how I feel about him. I still haven’t let myself say the words, but they are on my tongue, waiting to break free.

We only have a week left here in Miami before we have to start our journey back to California. We’ve managed to mark almost everything off the list including, get a haircut I’d never get. My hair that has always hung to my waist has now been lopped off to my shoulders. I thought I was going to cry when she was cutting it, but by the end of it, I was in love. It’s smooth and sleek now, and doesn’t require a small army to tame and keep in place.

Katie was right about one thing, this has been the best summer of my life, other than losing her.

I’ve kept in contact with my parents. I talk to them most days, and my mom has been making sure my rent is paid so I still have an apartment when I get home. She doesn't know anything about River though. I had a feeling she would freak out if she found out I was traveling across the country with a guy I didn't know.

River has promised me a special night tonight and I’m a little nervous because I have no idea what he has in store. Every day with him is special, but he promised me it’s something I won’t ever forget.

I’m sitting in the kitchen, writing another letter to Katie when he walks in. I close the notebook that’s nearly full now with letters to her.

---