Page 14 of F*cking Shattered

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When I wake in the morning, I expect to feel a lot dirtier than I do. I never did the sleeping around thing because I thought sex wouldn’t be as good with a random person, that I needed to connect with him on a deeper level. But that was not the case with…damn, I don’t even know his name.

I push the thoughts away and go for a shower. I turn the water on to let it heat up as I begin to pull off my clothes. I happen to catch a glimpse of something in the mirror that makes me do a double take. I have fresh bruises on my hips that wrap around to my backside.

I laugh and cover my mouth as I inspect the mirror closer. When my hand falls back at my side, I see my bottom lip is slightly swollen and a bruise stains it as well. It’s barely even visible, but I know it’s there.

Just seeing the marks he left on my skin sends a rush through me. My stomach muscles tighten, wanting more of him. I roll my eyes and shake my head. That’s never going to happen.

* * *

When I get out of the shower and dress for the day, I pick up my list and mark through, “Have a one-night stand” and “Dance in public.”

Every time I mark something off this list, a smile forms as a blanket of comfort falls over me, warming me. It’s like Katie is giving me a hug for achieving the small goal.

I toss the list to the side and grab my computer. I need to plan my trip to Miami to start her vacation. I know this is a completely crazy idea, but it’s something I need to do for her. She never got to take the trip of a lifetime, as she called it, so I’m going to take it for her.

I look at the price of a plane ticket, but dread settles over me. Can I get on a plane? So soon after my best friend was killed on one? I could take a bus or train. Or maybe even rent a car and take a road trip. I pull up a car service and book a car, wanting to get on with her plans. I close the computer and grab my things. I have a list of my own to get done before taking this vacation.

I walk into the tanning salon I work at and stop at the counter. Jill, a girl I’m not too friendly with, is behind the counter making out with who I assume is a customer.

I knock on the glass counter. “Hello?”

They pull away from one another quickly.

“I’m so sorry,” she starts, but then she sees that it’s just me. “Oh, hey. What’s up?” She straightens her too tight tank top, and brushes her disheveled bleach blonde hair away from her overly done face.

I smile sweetly, enjoying this entirely way too much. “I quit.”

Her mouth falls open as her emerald eyes widen with surprise. “What? Why? You’re supposed to relieve me this afternoon.”

“Yeah… That’s not going to happen. See ya!” I spin and walk out the door with a pep in my step. I laugh as I walk away. Jill wasn’t expecting that at all. I’ve always been the reliable one, the one that was always called when someone couldn’t come in. But I’m taking Katie’s advice and quitting that dead-end job. I want no ties to this place or my old life.

It’s time for a change.

I stop at a few stores and grab a new bikini, something I would never have chosen before. The top barely covers anything more than my nipples and the bottoms, if you can even call them that, are nothing more than a few strings put together. I also grab a new pair of sunglasses and flip flops.

Walking back to my apartment, the sun shines brightly down upon me, warming my skin. The warm breeze feels magical as it blows loose strands of hair around me. Quitting my job, I expected to feel panicked. I no longer have a steady income. But instead, I feel liberated. Finally free from a dead-end job that provided me nothing but a small income.

As I’m walking down the street, high on my most recent accomplishments, I see an Indian restaurant up ahead. I’ve always avoided it because it’s known for its incredibly spicy food. My feet stop moving as I think it over. It’s not that I’m afraid to eat spicy food, it’s just that the pain outweighs the gain. But I guess not everything on this list will be fun for me. Some things are purely there just to make me uncomfortable, make me try different things to get me out of my element.

I take a deep breath and push on.

I walk the few steps into the restaurant and the smell of the spice lingers in the air. It burns my tongue and throat just from breathing.

“Table for one?” the hostess asks.

I nod. “Yes, please.”

She leads me to a small two-person table and hands me a menu. Already I feel out of my element, and I haven’t even had to order yet.

“What can I get you to drink?” she asks, standing up straight with her hands clasped at her waist.

God, I don’t know. What will help with the burn? “Just water, please.”

She bows her head before rushing off to get my water.

I start looking through the menu, not knowing what anything is. I look at the people around me to see what they are eating, but honestly, it all looks the same to me.

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