Page 64 of Losing a Piece of Me

I need Lex, but first, I need to get my shit straight. I can’t go home, it’s too quiet there. I can’t see Lex, not yet, so I go to see the only real father I’ve ever known. I go to Pops.

It’s late and I know he is asleep. But I don’t have anywhere else to go.

I drive to the diner and pull out the key he trusted me with years ago. I let myself in and lock up behind me, walking through the back room and up the stairs to his apartment door.

I knock, and after several minutes I can hear the sound of his feet shuffling to the door. The door swings back to reveal his face, droopy with sleep. He squints at me in confusion and adjusts his glasses.

“Striker? What the hell are you doing here? Is everything okay?”

With my face void of emotion, I shake my head.

He opens the door wider and allows me to walk in. “Come on in, son. I’ll start some coffee.”

We sit at his kitchen table and drink our coffee while I tell him the whole story. Everything from our parents’ affair, to Lex’s pregnancy, to my father’s threat.

Pops has never been truly mad in front of me before, other than occasionally getting frustrated at different events, but his face now reddens with anger. “That fucking father of yours.”

“Whoa, Pops. You just said the ‘F’ word.” I’ve never in my life heard him say that word.

“As I’ve said before, there is a time when words can’t describe how you feel, and in those times, fuck is the only word that’ll do.”

I want to smile at him, but my facial muscles don’t seem to be working.

We sit around the table until four A.M. when he has to open the diner. He stands to get dressed. “I’m sorry I kept you up all night, Pops.”

“Don’t you worry about it. Why don’t you go lay down on the couch and get some rest. It sounds like you have someone you need to look for soon.”

I nod before standing and moving toward the living room. The moment my head touches the pillow, I’m out.

* * *

Sleep consumes me until five P.M., when Pops comes up to bring me dinner. The stress of the night wore on me and sleep kept me far too long. Lex is probably going crazy right now. I look at my phone and see that I have so many messages and missed calls that I don’t know where to start.

I devour the burger and fries and make my way downstairs. “Thanks for letting me crash, but I’m going to go get cleaned up and find my girl,” I tell him.

He gives me a toothy grin. “Bring her by, would ya?”

“We’ll see if she forgives me first.”

He waves me off like he knows she will. I hope he’s right.

* * *

I take a long, hot shower and clean myself of my father’s blood. When I step out, I dress and look myself over in the mirror. In the time span of a single day, I look like I’ve aged a year. Stress pulls heavily on my face. Sadness too.

I push away from the sink and grab my keys, not allowing myself to think about it. I need to find her.

I search intensely and in vain, until it dawns on me to check the country club where the wedding reception must be. The parking lot, as usual, is filled with expensive cars.

I can’t just walk in there. I want Lex, but my feet won’t budge. I’m not strong enough to fight off those people right now. I don’t want to ruin her sister’s big night either. No fights, no arguments, no drama.

If I know Lex, she will be coming out soon anyway.

* * *

When I look across the cab and see her, sitting in my truck next to me, my anger resurfaces. She’s strong enough to live with this shit for six years, but she wasn’t strong enough to defy my dad and keep our baby? Anger surges through me and I yell at her. Her crying stops and she turns toward me.

“I snuck away the morning after my graduation party. I left the party early and went to find you, but you were gone. Your dad was drunk and he made me stay. He wanted to take some of his anger out on me, yell at me for things out of my control. That’s when he told me about our parents and the pregnancy. He told me to stay away from you and I challenged him.”

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