Page 58 of Losing a Piece of Me

Why am I never good enough for anyone? Not my dad, not Lex’s parents, and now not even my mom.

I pace back and forth, chest rising and falling rapidly and erratically. Try as I might, my lungs can’t seem to fill up enough to calm my racing heart.

I storm up to Lex, turn her around in her seat, and slam her door closed, then take my place behind the wheel and floor the accelerator.

“Striker, please talk to me.”

“I can't believe you kept this from me. I wouldn't ever keep a secret like this from you.” I'm angry and even though I know Lex isn't to blame for her father’s actions, I can still fault her for keeping it from me.

I could handle my mom leaving. I just assumed that she finally had enough of my dad and he wouldn't let her take me away from him. But knowing that she didn't even try, that she just left me so she could keep her bastard child, that’s too much for my overworked mind to cope with.

“I didn't want you to hate me too. I couldn't have survived it. Without you, I was alone. I needed you to love me.”

“Don't you fucking get it?” I look at her but her walls are coming up fast. “I'm not mad that your dad took my mom away from me, leaving me to be abused. That wasn't your fault. I'm fucking mad because you didn't tell me. How could you keep something like this from me?”

I drive by the bar, stopping the truck to peek inside. My dad is gone but Jeff is still there. I throw the shifter into park and wait for her to get the hint and get out.

“You didn't tell me that you knew about my dad and your mom either, Striker. I'm sorry, by the time I found out, your dad was using it against me.”

“Please, just get out. I need some time alone to think.”

“No, I'm not getting out.”

I look at her, dumbfounded. Is she fucking serious?

“Promise me you won't do something stupid. You've already stirred enough shit tonight. I'll be lucky if your dad keeps his fucking mouth shut after what happened.”

I can't promise her that, because the first thing I'm going to do is go after him. He deserves what's coming to him.

“Get out, Lex!”

“No!”

I throw my seatbelt off and walk to her side, dragging her kicking and screaming out of the truck. I carry her over my shoulder into the smoky building. She fights me with all her might the entire way, but her hundred-pound frame doesn’t stand a chance against me.

I carry her up the bar and stand her up next to Jeff. “Take her home and keep her there. She doesn't need to see what I'm about to do.” I point at her.

Jeff doesn't argue. He wraps his arms around her, holding her back so I can leave, alone.

I make the drive to my dad’s house. The front door is standing open with the screen door closed. I storm in. He's sitting in his lounge chair, beer in hand. The blood on his face has dried, but he hasn't attempted to clean it off. He sees me standing at the door but doesn’t budge, other than to raise the bottle of beer to his lips, eyes locked on mine.

I want to hear him say it. I take a seat on the couch next to him and try to compose myself.

“So are you going to admit it?”

"Admit what?"

“What you did!” I yell.

A grin pulls at his lips. “You're going to have to refresh my memory. I've done a lot of things.”

My body aches to reach out and punch the bastard, but I know if I do that I won’t get any of the answers I want. I take a long, slow breath.

“Do you hate me that fucking much? My life wasn't shitty enough so you had to go and take away the one person I loved? The one person in this whole fucking world who loved me back?”

“That bitch didn't love you! She was slumming. You and I both fucking know it, I think it's about time you admitted that to yourself. She was using you to piss off her mommy and daddy.”

I run my hand through my hair. “What did you do? Tell her if she didn't leave me that you were going to expose him to her mom?”

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