No reply. When I turn to study her expression, she’s biting her lip nervously and her eyes are bouncing from one thing to the next.
“I didn't say that.”
I spring forward, no longer comfortable laying down. “What?”
“I said we didn't date. I didn't say that we haven't slept together.”
“So you've slept with him and you expect me to be okay with letting him be your date for the wedding?” I'm already on my feet, pacing the bedroom. I know it's stupid, but I've always been protective of Lex. I can't stand to think of another man touching her.
“What do you think, Striker? We've been apart for six years. I've slept around and so have you.”
“Yeah, but I'm not taking any of my bed-buddies out, am I?”
She runs her fingers through her hair and sits up, watching me pace. “I figured it was the best option. I mean, we both know you can't go with me. If I don't bring someone, my mother will only set me up with some asshat who will try a lot more than Jeff will. He knows you and I are together and I haven't slept with him since before I came home.”
“Were you seeing him when we slept together?”
“We weren't seeing each other. We were sleeping together. When I got back, I told him I slept with you and we haven't done anything since.”
“So you two, you're just fuck buddies?”
“We were, but not now. Not since I've been with you.” Her eyes lock with mine, showing enough raw emotion to make my mind fuzzy and keep me from thinking straight. I want to be pissed, but why? God knows I haven't been a saint. But Lex, she's so much better than that. She deserves more than a fuck buddy. How could this fucking guy degrade her like that?
“How long did you two have this little arrangement?” I sit on the edge of the bed, holding my head in my hands.
“I don't know. A few years, I guess.”
Fuck. A few years? This fucking guy is probably in love with her. “And he knows about me? When is the last time you've seen him?”
“Yes, he knows, and I see him all the time. He came by the store yesterday.”
I rub my hands over my face, trying to process this information. Lex has been sleeping with someone for years. Not carrying on a relationship, just sleeping with him. This pisses me off, knowing that some other man has been touching her even though she's always been mine. On the other hand, it also makes me feel a little better. He couldn't break through her rough exterior like I can. He never made it past sex with her. Sex is just the tip of the iceberg with Lex. She has so much more to offer.
“Are you going to be okay with this?”
I shrug. "It pisses me off that you still see your fuck buddy and it probably always will. And it really pisses me off that he gets to be a part of your life that I won't ever be included in.”
She’s quiet for a long time before she finally speaks. “I’m sorry, Striker. I don’t know what to do. I can’t change what I’ve done. I’m not taking him to the wedding so I can go on a date with him. We both know that you can’t be there and if I don’t bring someone, my mother will just force someone else on me.”
I don’t want to give in, but I know it’s inevitable. She’s right, if she doesn’t take Jeff, she will just end up with someone else who won’t think twice about trying to get in her pants. At least he has respected her wishes this far.
I shake my head and stand near the edge of the bed, then walk around to take my place beside her. She watches me with weary eyes.
“So, we’re okay?”
I pull her in close and look into her eyes, which will tell me everything I need to know. “Is there or has there ever been anything between you guys, other than sex?”
Her clouded eyes clear as she says, “No.”
I feel my chest loosen. “We’re fine.”
She moves her lips to mine and I can feel the passion running through her. I can feel the fear she was holding inside of her, thinking this may be the end.
With this kiss, I realize how much I truly mean to her.
I know it’s only a matter of time before that secret comes out, and I hope to God she’s wrong about the seriousness of it.
There’s nothing she can say that will change my mind about her, is there?