Page 17 of Losing a Piece of Me

He walks closer to the edge of the house and when I am within arm’s length, he places his hands around my waist and helps me into his arms. Our eyes lock and his tongue glides across his bottom lip. His eyes flash down to my lips and I’m praying he kisses me.

The intensity builds between us and I know he can feel my heart pounding against his chest. My breathing is thick and heavy; I don’t know if it’s from my climb or just from looking into his eyes. He places his hand on the nape of my neck, holding me to him and slowly moves in for the kiss.

I close my eyes just as his lips press against mine. I open for him, needing to taste him. He delves inside, taking everything I’m willing to give him.

He pulls away abruptly and his eyes flash to my window. “Come on, let’s go before they notice you’re gone.” He takes my hand and we run through the night to his awaiting motorcycle.

I wake from the dream to the same tapping on my window. I shake my head, trying to clear it of the dream, but there it is, again and again. I push myself up and walk to the window, moving back the curtain, and see him.

My heart slams against my chest and suddenly all the emotions of my dream hit me again, love and excitement bubbling up to the surface.

Opening the window and leaning against the frame, I cross my arms over my chest and lock eyes with him.

God, why does he have to look so good?

“Can we talk?” He shoves his hands in his pockets and his Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. He’s nervous. I can’t help but smile.

“About what?”

His head dips forward and he kicks at the dirt before bringing his eyes back to mine. “Just talk.” He shrugs.

Might as well. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

I start to close the window but he stops me, saying, “What? Not going to climb down to me like you used to?”

I let out a small chuckle. “Not this time.”

The window now closed, I walk through the house and out the back door. When the door opens, his eyes find me and he takes a deep breath.

“You look good, Lex. Really good.” His voice is deep and husky.

I smile. “You too.”

He stands with his feet firmly planted shoulder-width apart, hands tucked away in his hoodie pocket. He motions with his head to the back property where we always used to go. “Go for a walk?”

I shrug with my arms crossed over my chest but begin walking.

We walk a good twenty yards from the house before he finally breaks the silence. “I’m sure you know what I want to talk about.” His voice is even and controlled, but I can hear the disappointment and nerves breaking through.

“Look - what happened, that was a long time ago. Can we just let it go? Move on and be friends?”

A sudden look of surprise appears on his face. “Friends?”

We’re at the end of the property, where the large yard meets the trees. We step through the tree line and I sit down on fallen tree trunk. “I know. That sounds stupid.”

He stands directly in front of me, watching me carefully, then shakes his head and runs his hand through his hair. “Friends? That’s what you want from me?”

I’m afraid to meet his eyes, not wanting to see all the hurt I caused him. I nod, silently.

He lets out a long breath and moves to my side. “I can’t. I need to hear it. I want to know why you left, why you didn’t tell me goodbye, and why you wouldn’t answer when I called. I thought I meant more to you than that.” He almost sounds disappointed that he gave me the chance to hurt him. I’m sure he is.

“I can’t. I can’t go into all of that. It was six years ago. I’ve let it go and you should too.” I refuse to let myself go there. I can’t. It’s too hard.

“Let it go? Let it go?” he yells.

I don’t even flinch when he raises his voice. I know I deserve much more than just being yelled at after how badly I hurt him. It killed me to do so, but I did it. I didn’t have a choice.

“I fucking loved you and you just up and left. And I didn’t even know! You didn’t tell me goodbye or anything. One day you were here and you were happy and saying you loved me and the next, you were gone. How do you expect me to feel, Lex?”

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