Page 12 of Losing a Piece of Me

I take her hand in mine and lead her in the direction of my motorcycle. She pulls off her cap and gown and tosses them into a nearby trash can, and I follow suit before hopping on the bike and revving the engine.

“I have to swing by my house before we go to the party,” I tell her as she takes my hand and climbs on behind me.

Five minutes later, we pull into the driveway. I kill the bike and help her off before putting the kickstand down and climbing off myself.

She’s quiet tonight. Something is off but I don’t know what. Whatever it is, I will talk to her later about it. We have a party to get to and I need to be out of the house as quickly as possible. My dad will be rolling in soon.

I open the door for her and lead her into the dark living room. “I’ll be right back, I just need to change and grab something.”

She nods her head and sits down on the sofa. She seems so small there. I stop when she wraps her arms around herself and drops her eyes to the floor.

I take a deep breath and sit by her side, pulling her in close against me. “What’s going on, Lex?”

“What? Nothing.” She looks at me. Even in the dark room, enough light shines through to clearly illuminate her face and the serious expression across it. She’s nervously biting her bottom lip.

I place my thumb on the edge of her lip and pull it from between her teeth. Her teeth left marks behind. I run my thumb over them before moving in for a kiss.

She’s holding back.

I pull away. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

She nods and her eyes fall to her hands that are resting between us. “I know.”

I place my hand under her chin and tilt her head so she has to meet my eyes. “Then tell me. What is it?”

She lets out a long breath, taking a few moments to collect herself, but finally speaks. “It’s over. High school is over. It’s almost time to set our plan into action.”

My hand falls from her chin. “I know. Just say the words and we’re gone,” I promise her.

The corners of her lips turn up just a little before they press against mine.

I shake my head clear of the memory. If I had known that she would be gone from my life only two days later, I may not have made that promise. I wanted to marry her, even at the age of eighteen. She was the one for me. It was something that I hadn’t doubted since our twelve-year-old selves shared that kiss in the stolen police cruiser.

None of that matters though. She didn’t love me. She ran away from me, and didn’t even tell me goodbye. She left me a mess, a mess that nobody else wanted.

I step from the shower and dress myself, avoiding looking in the mirror. I know what I’ll see. A broken man. A man still hanging on to his high school girlfriend.

In the process of pulling my shirt over my head, my eyes inadvertently shift to the mirror, making eye contact with myself. I look like shit. My hair is much longer than I usually let it grow, and a scruffy beard covers my face.

Something needs to be done about the beard, so I quickly clean it up with my trimmers. A quick run of my fingers through my hair is the final straw for my mop; I decide to get a haircut before going to Brett’s. He talked me into patching up the roof on his garage, and having my hair hanging in my eyes will make the work difficult. With my luck, I’ll end up falling off the roof.

I head to the barbershop and take a seat in the chair. No need to tell him what I want done, it’s the same haircut he’s been giving me since I was a kid.

“How’s it been going, Strike?” Bud asks. I meet his eyes in the mirror and for the first time, I notice just how sick he really is. His gray hair is falling out and deep wrinkles have taken over his face. The cancer diagnosis came a year ago, which he stubbornly resolved himself not to fight. Said he was too old and would rather live out the rest of his life normally.

“As good as ever.”

The barber next to us pulls the towel from his customer’s face just as the words leave my lips, and much to my chagrin, Barney sits up and turns toward me. “I’m sure you’ve heard about our guest.”

My eyes roll, followed by a deep sigh. “I have.”

He stands and hands over his money for the shave. “Take it from me, keep away from her. You’ve been doing good staying out of trouble. Don’t need the likes of her to bring you back down.”

I don’t respond as he shuffles his way out of the shop. When he’s gone, I shake my head and let it dip forward.

Bud laughs before turning on the clippers and starting on my hair.

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