Page 64 of Shattered

Anger floods over me and I turn back. “I’ve told you things I’ve never told another person, and you couldn’t even tell me your real name?” I’m not sure which is stronger: anger or hurt.

He shakes his head as guilt and shame wash over his face. “It’s not like that, Jovi. I swear. I wanted to tell you, I did. But I knew if I told you who I really was while you were still hurting with everything so raw, you’d just see Katie, and that would make you hurt worse.”

“No. You don’t get to tell me anything anymore. You had your chance. You don’t know how I would’ve reacted. You didn’t even give me the chance. You just assumed it would be better for me if you lied.” I let out a laugh. “Well, that’s the last time. Find your own way home.” I turn and walk off the boat.

When I get to the car, I climb behind the wheel. I look up to see him leaning against the railing, hanging his head.

He looks so broken and part of me breaks a little. No, I can’t feel sorry for him. He’s lied to me for three months!

I back out as quickly as I can. I have to get back to the apartment and pack my things. I’m going home.

* * *

I get my things from the apartment we’ve been staying in, but I don’t make it out of town. My eyes are leaking tears so quickly, I can’t see to drive. I stop at the first motel I find and rent a room for the night.

I fall down onto the bed and curl into a ball. I can’t believe this. River is Josh – Katie’s brother. The brother she didn’t know she had until a few years ago. How could I have not put this together? I feel so stupid. I mean, it’s not like I ever saw a picture of him. I remember her irritated laugh when she would show me all the pictures she had taken on her trips to see him. He always had a way of ducking out of the picture, or covering his face at the last second.

This makes me realize that I’ve had more of her than I originally thought. I thought all I had was this list and her ashes around my neck, but I’ve had her brother this whole time. The same blood that ran through her veins runs through his.

I hate myself for running from him, but I need time to think. He lied to me. He could have told me, but instead he chose to keep me in the dark.

I dry my eyes and step into the shower. I need to wash this day from my mind. As I lather up, the memories of my summer wash over me and my heart longs for him. I’m completely fucking addicted. He owns me, even my heart knows it. But I can’t just go running back. I need to wrap my head around this. All of it, not just his lies.

When I get out of the shower, I sit on the bed and hold my phone in my hands, debating on calling George. He’s the only one who can give me the truth. I need the truth to make my decision.

I hit the send button and the phone rings. As I’m sure it’s going to go to voicemail, he answers. “Hello?”

“Mr. Hansen?” I nearly whisper.

“Jovi?” I can hear the concern in his voice.

I nod while wiping away tears that are falling on their own. “Yeah. It’s me.”

“What’s wrong? Where have you been?”

I take a deep breath. “I’ve been in Miami. I took Katie’s trip.”

“Oh.” I can hear the hurt from hearing her name lacing his words. “Well, is there something I can do for you?”

“Yes, actually. You can tell me about Josh.”

“Josh? My son, Josh?”

“That’s the one.” I stand and start pacing the floor.

“What is it that you want to know?” He sighs.

“Everything,” I breathe out. “I remember the fight. The one you and Mary had in the kitchen that day. And Katie told me some things, but I’d just like to hear it all from you.”

He clears his throat and at first I think he may not answer but then he speaks. “Well, back when I first started my company, I went to a seminar in New York. After a day of classes, me and my partner went out, and I met someone.” He takes a long breath. “We had several drinks and one thing led to another and…well, you know.”

Feeling slightly hysterical, I want to laugh because he can’t just come out and say they had sex, but I don’t. “Okay, what happened after that? I was told you paid her to get rid of the baby.”

“Before I left to come back home, we exchanged numbers. A couple of months later, I got a call. She was pregnant. I had just met Mary and I was head over heels in love. I didn’t want to let this woman I had a one-night stand with ruin my plans. I hadn’t known Mary long, but I knew she was the one I wanted. So…we talked and she decided to get rid of the baby. She said she couldn’t afford to do it on her own. She was living with one of her friends, and was only working part time. I told her I would wire her the money if she wanted. She accepted and I assumed she got it done. I never heard from her again.”

“So when did you find out?”

“Not until fifteen years later when he showed up on my doorstep!”

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