Page 44 of Shattered

The music starts up to Believer by Imagine Dragons. If I wasn’t so nervous, I’d laugh at the song choice.

My hair is still down, but now that it has air dried, it hangs around me in loose curls. I use it to hide as much of my face as I can. I walk to the center pole and grab hold, not daring to look at River straight away.

I have no idea what to do, so I allow myself to loosen up and swing around it. As I feel more at ease, I look to my left where River is no longer sitting with the women, but standing at the side of the stage, watching with amusement and a smile playing on his lips.

I swing around the pole and dance to the song, but not as graphically as the other women did. I don’t even know how to move like that. I figure as long as I lose some clothes, nobody will be complaining.

I offer a naughty grin as my fingers go to the buttons on my shirt, slowly unbuttoning each one as the crowd gets louder and louder. When the shirt is off, revealing my red, shiny bikini top, I drop the shirt onto the stage.

I do the same routine until I’m in nothing but the G-string. Ever so slowly, I peel them from my body and sling them at River just as the song wraps us.

The place goes dark as I make my way off stage in a hurry.

When I push through the door, I’m filled with nerves and excitement. I’m completely out of my element and loving the high it’s giving me.

I pull my clothes back on and toss the ‘uniform’ into the dirty bin before telling the lady that helped me thank you.

I don’t know what River is going to say or if he’s still mad at me, but I don’t stick around to find out. I make a bee-line for the door.

I walk as quickly as I can and don’t stop or look behind me until I’m back in the motel room alone.

11

PAYING RIVER BACK

Now that I’m alone, my heart slams against my chest, only pumping more anxiety through me. I can’t believe I did that! I sit on the edge of the bed to calm myself down.

The stress of the day and the amount of alcohol I’d drunk is wearing on me. I decide to finally undress and crawl into bed, glitter and all. I’ll deal with the consequences tomorrow. I stand and kick my jeans off, I’m about to pull my shirt over my head when the door opens and slams shut.

I turn my head in the direction of the noise. River walks in wearing a wide smile. He’s rushing towards me with his arms held out at his side like he’s going to hug me. This is not the response I wanted. I wanted him as jealous and as mad as I was.

When he’s in arm’s length, I reach out and smack him across the face.

He’s stunned as he rubs his bruised jaw. “What the hell was that for?”

“What the hell were you doing at that bar with those women?”

He thinks it over before he smirks. “I wasn’t with those women. They are the girlfriends of a couple of the dancers. They don’t like leaving them sitting alone because they get hit on all night. Trust me, you are more their type than I am.”

My face wrinkles with disgust. “Don’t lie. I saw how they were looking at you.”

He moves closer, but I step away, not wanting to be confused by his touch because I know my body will give into him.

He holds his hands up in front of him, palms facing me. “I swear, it was nothing.”

“So you weren’t trying to make me jealous?”

His hands fall at his sides. “No, I was just trying to get out of here to give you space. I know you won’t say anything, but I can tell you’re freaking out.”

I let out a long breath of anxiety. “I’m sorry. I feel bad for treating you the way I did. I’m just so confused by everything, and we’re moving fast. Like really fast.” I fall to the edge of the bed, resting my elbows against my knees while drooping my head forward.

He sits beside be but doesn’t touch me, which I’m thankful for.

“Look. I’m sorry. I was mad, but not because of what you said. I was mad because I thought things were changing with us. I thought you were finally letting me beneath all your layers, finally letting me in.”

“I am and that scares the shit out of me. I didn’t even mean to let my guard down this much, you just wormed your way in and that scares me.”

His eyes squint. “Why does that scare you, beautiful?” He pushes my hair away from my face, his fingertips skimming lightly across my cheek.

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