Page 156 of Unspoken Rules

I want to ask why. What in the world would make him tell her about us? Why would he confide in anyone about us? It’s so strange. So strange. But I can imagine him sitting here, late in the night, tired and stressed, with no one but her to talk to while they waited and hoped Chris would wake up. I’m not mad at him for telling her, I’m just surprised.

I find myself taking a detour to the bathroom before going back to the waiting room. The last person I want to face right now is Cole. I splash water on my face and stare in the mirror for as long as I can. I look tired. I need to sleep.

When I make my way to the waiting room, I’m pretty sure Cole is asleep. I watch him for a long time before I finally sit down beside him.

I try to sleep too, but it doesn’t get me anywhere.

So I do the next best thing and email my boss, asking if it would be okay for me to take the week off and be available remotely if needed. Or I could go into the Beaumonte branch if needed, since I’m over here. I also give him a quick update on Chris, so he knows how serious this is.

Honestly, this isn’t what I want to do, but it’s what I need to do. For Chris. I owe him this.

By the end of the week, I just hope I haven’t turned back into the person I was before I left.

Chapter Sixty-Seven

Bryson

The three of us ride in Cole’s truck to the house the following day. Chris was cleared to be discharged, and though he hardly remembers being in the hospital, he can’t stop talking about how excited he is to be home.

He’s like an entirely different person. Like the Chris I remember, not the one I came home to last year. It’s relieving. Yet there is a heavy weight in my chest that won’t leave me the hell alone. I can’t figure out which is worse: keeping all of this from him, or him knowing what I did.

“Oh, shit. Is that your rental, Bry?” Chris eyes my car in the driveway. The one that I was giving back to Cole because I can’t do anything with it. Not unless I want to take a road trip back to Boston, which I absolutely do not. I’m afraid of flying, but I don’t think anything could make me take that long of a road trip in a car. Maybe if I had an RV and a month to do it.

“Uh, yeah,” I say quickly. “Figured I’d go all out, ya know?”

Cole eyes me in the rear-view mirror, but I ignore him. He better not be judging me for lying to Chris. I hope he understands that we’re going to be doing a lot of lying to Chris.

“Hell yeah.” Chris looks behind his seat at me. “You going to take me for a ride or what?”

“Whenever you want,” I say, forcing a smile.

The doctor said it will be normal for Chris to be tired a lot, and grumpy. Mood swings are common after a brain injury. His body went through a lot of trauma, so there will be a lot of changes with Chris. Cole and I’s job is to keep track and help him stay calm, remind him that it’s okay and he needs time to heal. Things won’t go back to normal right away. Taking care of someone with a TBI isn’t easy.

So far, Chris’s mood has been great. Maybe it’ll stay like this.

It’s not that I don’t want the memories to come back to him, it’s just that I know my world is going to blow up, for the second time, when they do.

He’s going to be pissed at me all over again. Say horrible things to me all over again. How will I deal with that twice? How will I handle seeing the hatred and devastation on his face, aimed at me, another time?

I’ve been wondering if we should just tell him. I want to bring it up to Cole, but he already said we were told to avoid that sort of thing, so it’s likely he’ll disagree. And though I know it’s wrong to tell him, I can’t help but assume him randomly remembering it all won’t be just as traumatic. Though, from what we’re told, this is about healing and not trauma.

But is he going to be in the middle of dinner with Cole and me when he remembers walking in on us? How the hell is that going to go over? Will he pick up a knife and stab us? He could be in the middle of a shower, freak out and slip. I mean, the possibilities are endless. I’m terrified. And not only for me, but for Cole, and especially Chris. He’s supposed to be taking it easy. Who is going to take care of him when these memories come back to him?

I feel like I’m hanging out with a ticking time bomb, with not the faintest clue of when it’s going to go off.

“Maybe we can go by Mila’s later?” Chris suggests.

“Dr. Connor said you need to take it easy for the next couple of days, Christopher.”

Chris groans. “Whatever. Party pooper,” he mutters under his breath.

Cole grits his teeth as he shuts off the car. Chris opens the door and carefully gets out. I get out next.

“You good?” I ask him, placing my hand on his shoulder.

“Totally. Legs are a little sore.”

“Just go slow.”

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