Page 65 of Unspoken Rules

Once I’m in the shower, I wash up quickly but stay there for a while, letting the hot water rain down on my tense shoulders. The tightness is something I’ve grown used to. It comes with being stressed. A state I’ve been in for so long, it’s pretty much my norm. There aren’t many times in my life I remember being happy. Senior year before I went to college. The first semester of college too. Other than that? It’s just been bullshit.

Coming here was a relief for a short time. I was hopeful things would be different. It would be a fresh start. But then I walked into the same shit with my father and was thrown back to when I was a kid and got fucked up all over again. Being away from my father for a few years was good for my head, but then there was Daniel to make up for it. Plus, I was in a new place with people I didn’t know and without the ability to make friends because I’m a fucking mess. Had my relationship with my father not been so bad, I’d have gone to school here. I never would have left.

Then there’s the mess I got myself into with Cole. Something I’ve obsessed over way too much and need to put to rest.

But it’s hard when you want something for so long, think you don’t deserve it, then you get it… only for it to be taken away.

Because it’s wrong.

Or because it’s not worth it.

Because I’m not worth it.

I’m not capable of going out and making new friends. I mean, of course I am, it’s just more uncomfortable than I want to deal with. It’s too much work. But I know myself, and I am capable of fiercely loving someone. Of taking care of them. Of being selfless and communicating. I could make someone happy. I could make Cole happy. I do make him happy. When we’re together, it just works. It’s simple and easy. It’s natural. It fits.

But I’m just not enough.

The solution to this, one that’s been a fleeting thought, is to move out. I could ask Mila and Mark to stay there for a little while. They’re great friends and wouldn’t say no. But I’m comfortable here, minus the Cole and Chris thing. I’m familiar with this house. Having to get used to living with other people is a lot. Not to mention Chris will probably be more of a dick over it. Which isn’t a reason to make a decision about my life, but if I can hold off for a little while longer, I will.

I shut the water off before I use all the hot water, and when I pull the curtain back, I freeze. Cole is standing inside the bathroom, leaning against the wall, staring at me. His eyes graze down my body, settling on my dick for far too long. He runs his tongue along his bottom lip before flicking his eyes back up to mine. The look on his face has my stomach flipping, and I beg my dick to behave and not get excited over this. Cole isn’t doing anything. He’s just looking.

But there it goes. My stupid dick has a mind of his own. Making me look like an idiot as I stand here, dripping wet and naked in front of Cole, getting hard over just a look.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he whispers.

His voice has my shock disappearing, and I reach for my towel. I dry my face and hair quickly before wrapping the towel around my waist and stepping out of the shower.

“It’s okay,” I say as I move in front of the sink to grab my toothbrush. “It’s better this way anyway.” I see him nod in the mirror.

Good. We agree then.

I brush my teeth, feeling weird as hell because of Cole standing there. Watching me. I try my best to look everywhere but at him. The bathroom mirror is wide, so it’s kind of impossible to avoid him.

When I’m finished, I turn to leave, but Cole moves forward. With an arm on either side and hands grasping the countertop, he cages me in.

“I owe you,” he rasps out, his eyes glued to my mouth.

My heart is pounding. He’s so damn close and he smells so good.

“Owe me what, exactly?” I ask softly.

He shifts, and I feel his fingers on my stomach. He tugs at the towel, and it falls open.

“An orgasm.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

Bryson

Cole grasps my dick, squeezing.

A choked sound leaves me, my hands clenching to fists.

“Cole—”

He buries his face in my neck, dragging his nose up my throat and nips at my jaw.

“Just this last time and then we’re done,” he says quietly. He licks along my throat. “Okay?”

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