Page 164 of Unspoken Rules

“Five,” he says slowly, watching me with a strange look.

“Well, we have a few hours. Wanna go in the hot tub?”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I think I’m going to take a nap.”

“Okay…”

He lays down on the couch and closes his eyes.

That was definitely weird.

I head up to my room and grab my laptop to check on work emails.

I text Cole too.

Me: Next time, let your son know, not me.

Cole: Uh, okay. Sorry?

Me: He saw the text and questioned it.

Me: What if he remembers?

Cole: He could remember anyway.

Me: Well, I don’t need you doing something to trigger it.

Cole: Sorry.

That’s it. That’s all I get. A pitiful sorry.

I toss my phone to the bed, get on my laptop, and do some work until about 4:30 when I go downstairs to wake up Chris. He gets ready quickly, and we leave to drop him off.

How am I going to explain leaving the car here when I leave? I hadn’t thought about that until now. There needs to be some truths I give Chris, or I’m going to drive myself insane. What if he never remembers anything? How am I going to keep up with all these lies I’m telling him? Especially when I’ll be so busy back in Boston with work and everything else.

“This car isn’t a rental. It’s mine,” I blurt out.

“Uh, okay,” Chris says, frowning at me. “Why didn’t you say that in the first place?”

“I felt weird about it. Like I was giving you information you weren’t supposed to have. I know that’s stupid, but I was so worried about your memories and didn’t know what to say.”

“It’s fine,” he says, sighing.

He’s as tired of this bullshit as I am. I know it. Being in my position is hard enough. I can’t imagine being on his end of it. Knowing everyone around me knows all sorts of things about my life that I don’t? I think it would drive me insane. How do you deal with something like that?

Hopefully spending time with Mila will make him feel better. Being with people other than me will be good for him. Or really bad if they trigger something to make him remember.

“You wanna come in and say hi?” he says when we get there.

I shake my head, staring ahead. My mood has only gotten worse on the ride here, and I feel bad because it isn’t his fault, but I have no energy left to fake a cheerful mood.

Chris doesn’t say anything as he closes the door and heads up the driveway. I pull out my phone to text Mila and let her know that if she needs anything, to call me immediately and I’ll come get him.

I feel like I’m dropping off my child and I’m worried about him misbehaving. It’s ridiculous. But also a little funny, I guess.

On the way back to Cole’s, I consider texting Tomas to see what he’s up to. We haven’t really spoken since I left. But then I remember I have the house to myself, and figure that’s way better than spending time with anyone. I should at least text him to tell him I’m in the area though. We were sort of friends…

I eat a bunch of leftovers, grab a few bottles of water, and retreat to my room for the night. Mila said she’d drop Chris off later, so at least I don’t have to worry about moving again.

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