Page 12 of Hate Me

With Bastian being shut down for so long and so cautious after that, people often believed him to be uncaring and apathetic to everyone and everything. But he was actually so incredibly caring and thoughtful. Perceptive to people’s feelings and needs too beyond anybody I’d ever known. It just unsettled him to take on the vulnerability that came with expressing that.

So the fact that he’d done this here… it was absolutely incredible.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Good, that means you’re stunned—in a majorly good way.”

“I am. Thank you, sweetheart. This means a great deal.”

“Happy Birthday, Cas,” he said, coming to me and throwing his arms around me.

I held him to me tightly.

So tightly. My fingers were digging into his skin through his shirt with the vehemence with which I was holding him, emotion taking hold and demanding to be heard, to be felt.

It had been him and me for the last two years, here in this house, here for one another. On the surface it would seem that I’d been the one there for him through helping him with his recovery, putting various things in place in a bid to cement it this time, to guard against relapse much better than had been done before.

But he’d been here for me too. Without Caleb, I’d felt adrift. Incredibly so. He’d always been my anchor. Bastian had been second in that capacity because he’d insisted on standing at a distance to protect himself, to safeguard that vulnerability. But since Skylar had come into his life, it had changed things. Some for the worse, yes, especially with her leaving, but there was this too… this positive aspect to it. Him being open again, being capable of this sort of thing again. Moments like this and certain interactions I’d witnessed between him and Skylar… they were callbacks to the person he’d been before he’d lost his dad. The sensitive and selfless Sebastian, before he’d been touched by tragedy, before things had gotten so fucked-up and made him so incredibly jaded.

There was still hope, though. Instances like this reminded me of that.

And as much as he hated Skylar now—or, more likely, had convinced himself that he did—I believed her to be the key to unlocking more of that from him.

I actually believed her to be the key to reuniting all of us, to mending the fissures in the brotherhood and reforming as a foursome that would be beyond breaking under any strain.

It was what I’d thought when I’d allowed her into my home, when I’d begun to bond with her and studied her with my boys too. And, despite everything, I still believed it.

But that was all moot right now.

Until I could find her.

I’d told him I’d stopped. For his peace of mind, he’d needed to hear that.

But I hadn’t.

She’d simply disappeared.

Even Dante and Luke hadn’t been able to track her, and the reach between all three of us was staggering.

But all it would take was one slipup and that would be our in.

Unfortunately, there was just no telling when that would be.

So I’d encouraged Bastian to go on with his life, to move beyond her, beyond what could’ve been, yet couldn’t currently.

Him venturing out to the Bennett home today, though, had shown me how much he needed closure to be able to do that fully.

And it killed me that it was the one thing I couldn’t give him.

“So,” he said, easing back. “Let’s blow the candles out before they burn out.” He reached out and wiped away a stray tear making its way down my cheek. “Make a wish, brother.”

He guided me to the island, then took position on the other side, looking on eagerly.

I closed my eyes briefly and made my wish, as he was so excitedly insisting, then I blew out the candles, taking out all twenty-five with two breaths.

“Impressive,” Bastian said, then started clapping.

I had me chuckling.

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