Page 13 of The Night Nanny

“No need,” comforts Nurse Marley. “I brought some along, just in case.”

Isa still wailing madly, I watch as she again reaches inside her duffel. She quickly retrieves the box of formula. I read the label. It’s written in a language I don’t understand.

“It’s a German brand, inspired by real breast milk,” our new caregiver says. “Organic with no additives. Every celebrity mother I’ve worked for swears by it. And so do I. It reduces crying within twenty-four hours and helps with brain development.” She lays the cheery yellow box on the coffee table. “I’ve also brought along some latex-free bottles, a sterilizer, and a bottle warmer…”

I stare in wonder. What else does she have in her Mary Poppins-like bag? A flying umbrella?

“I hope you have some bottled water, so we don’t have to use tap water.”

My mind rummages through the almost empty fridge. “We don’t, but the fridge has a filtered water dispenser.”

She pulls a face. “Hmm, I guess that’ll have to do until I buy some Evian.”

The only kind of water Ned will drink. What his late mother drank.

Nurse Marley turns to me. “If you want, you can come with me and I’ll show you how to prepare the formula. It’s easy-peasy and takes no time.”

“If it’s okay by you, can I stay here with Isa?” The thought of getting up is exhausting.

“Of course. I’ll be right back.”

Gathering a bottle and the sterilizer from her bag, and the box of formula from the table, Nurse Marley springs off the couch and makes her way to the adjacent kitchen. With our open floor plan, I’m able to watch her prepare the bottle. It does look easy. Boil the water while sanitizing the bottle. Add the water and a scoop of the formula to the bottle and mix. Then cool it under cold running water.

After testing the temperature of the liquid mixture on the back of a washed hand, she returns with the bottle and settles back on the couch next to me. Instead of handing me the bottle, she peels Isa away from me and cradles her in her right arm, carefully supporting her tiny, tender head in the crook of her elbow. I’m awed by her confidence and skill. She looks so comfortable. So natural. Almost as if she was born to hold my baby…and Isa was born to be in her arms. A mix of awe, envy, and sadness surges inside me as I watch the way Isa takes to her and calms down. Her crying subsides.

“You are a baby whisperer!” I tell our night nanny.

She laughs, almost dismissively. “That’s what all my clients tell me, but I wouldn’t go that far.”

She’s as humble as she is capable—such a lovely quality—I think, as she gently rocks Isa, keeping her gaze on her.

“Hi, my sweet girl. I’m Marley and I’m going to take care of you.” A beat. “Ava, watch me feed her and feel free to ask any questions.”

My eyes stay locked on her as she angles Isa’s head slightly upward and, with her left hand, guides the bottle nipple to Isa’s rosebud mouth. With a little nudging, my baby parts her lips and sucks vigorously. The suckling sounds are like music to my ears.

“Wow! She’s eating like a champion!”

Nurse Marley nods. “This little one is a champion!”

“Can I feed her?” I ask hesitantly.

“Sweetie, I think it’s best that I do it for now. You’ll have many opportunities, and I want Isa to get used to me.”

Though a globule of disappointment rises in my chest, it disappears quickly, replaced by the bright burst of joy I feel from watching my baby feed.

As Isa continues to suck, her blue eyes grow heavy. The bottle almost empty, her lids close. She’s fallen asleep.

“Is she okay?” I ask, nervousness in my voice.

Nurse Marley smiles. “Totally. All this sucking has worn the poor little thing out. Let’s put her down for the night.” She pauses. “But first let’s burp her.”

She carefully puts my sleeping baby on a shoulder, supporting her bottom with one hand, and begins to softly pat her back with the other.

“Won’t that wake her?” I ask.

“Not if you do it right. It’s important. The burp will release gas and help her sleep better through the night.” Her gaze meets mine. “Hon, watch me.”

My eyes stay on her as she continues with her light staccato taps. Thirty seconds later, her eyes never opening, my baby lets out the tiniest of burps. Marley smiles triumphantly.

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