Page 42 of Long Hard Road

“We probably should’ve made it clearer to your grandma that we’re not together like that. I feel like I lied to her by not correcting her assumptions.”

Part of me knew that Madison was right. We’d let my grandma believe that things between us were serious. That she might have a reason to hope for us to have kids. But it was so easy to pretend with Madison. Pretend that we’d known each other for weeks, maybe even months. Pretend that she was my girl and we had a future together. Pretend that she wasn’t going to leave me in a month. Pretend that she was mine.

Those thoughts had a chilling effect. I had felt like this only one other time in my life and I had sworn I would never open my heart like that again. I would never again make a wish that depended on someone else wishing for the same thing.

Ellison was just finishing up putting alarm triggers on the windows when we got back. After some debate, he finally agreed that Madison would come with me to the bar. He needed to go back to the hotel to handle some stuff for other clients and the security team he was assigning to her hadn’t arrived in Crestwood yet. I promised to keep Madison close until morning and to make sure he was notified immediately if we received another threat.

The bar was even busier tonight. I barely had time to ring up the orders let alone worry about those pesky feelings I was having for Madison.

“I’m not sure why we couldn’t have the pretty bartender deliver our beers,” Ronan grumbled at me. He and Chase had been sitting at the bar for the last hour, watching Madison glide around serving drinks. They were just as fascinated by her as the rest of the male patrons.

“Are you saying I’m not pretty?” I asked in mock offense.

“I’m saying your ass has never looked that good in a pair of jeans.” Ronan nodded toward Madison. “What the hell is a girl like that doing with a guy like you?”

“She’s not with me.” I poured some whiskey into a glass and gulped it down.

Chase nodded toward the end of the bar. “In that case, you won’t care that Macalister has been eyeing her all night.”

“He’s allowed to look,” I said, jaw clenched. “But if he touches her, he’s dead.”

Madison looked over and caught my angry stare. She smiled uncertainly, wondering if she’d done something to deserve that glare. I forced a smile and a wink. She blushed and turned away.

“Oh yeah. She’s not with you.” Ronan rolled his eyes. “You’re not kidding anyone, Sullivan. When is she moving in with you?”

“Just shut up and drink your beer.” I didn’t need even more people plotting my future with Madison when it was unlikely we would have one.

On Friday nights, a band played in the back room and people split their time dancing and drinking. When a particularly popular song played, people would head toward the dance floor and we’d get a bit of reprieve from serving drinks. Madison used those breaks to clear empties away from the tables and I used those breaks to watch her.

On one pass through the room, a man stepped in front of her. She smiled politely and tried to dodge him, but he slid another step in front of her.

“What are you glaring at?” Chase turned to see and grunted. “Well fuck. Ronan, our boy is about to get arrested.”

“For what?” he asked.

“For killing Jimmy Macalister.”

I ignored them and started around the bar, keeping my eyes on Madison. Whatever Jimmy had said to her had her shaking her head and taking a step back. He followed with a step toward her and grabbed her arm. Madison turned abruptly and tried to yank her arm free. Jimmy spun her back toward his body and slapped a hand on her ass.

“You fucking son of a bitch.” I yanked Madison away from him and charged forward, pushing him several feet back and into the wall so hard that the window shook. My forearm pressed into his throat hard enough that he let out a strangling sound. “You don’t touch her. Ever. You don’t even look at her. If I see you even breathe in her direction, I will cut your fucking balls off and shove them down your throat.”

Everything in the bar was gone in a flash. My vision had gone dark around the edges and my head felt like it had been plunged underwater. The only awareness I had was that the man before me had violated Madison and I wasn’t going to let him get away with it.

“Nate.” Madison tugged on my arm.

“Get back behind the bar, angel. I will handle this.” I threw up a hand to block Jimmy’s pathetic attempt at a punch. “Are you really that fucking stupid, Jimmy? I spent years killing men bigger and meaner than you and you’re going to start a drunk fight with me?”

Jimmy tried to speak but my forearm was still pressed to his windpipe. A heavier hand came down on my shoulder. “Leave it, Nate.” Ronan’s voice was low and urgent. “You’ve already freaked out Madison. Don’t make it worse.”

That got my attention. I hadn’t been thinking about how she might respond to my sudden aggression. I usually did a good job controlling my anger. It had taken me a while and a lot of therapy to work through my trauma from my army days. Though the anger never went away completely, I could usually keep it pushed down. I hadn’t had an episode like this since Fiona had ripped out my heart.

“Fuck.” I shoved away from Jimmy. “Get the hell out of my bar.”

“They said you went crazy after your deployments, but you’re fucking insane, Sullivan.” Jimmy rubbed a hand over his throat.

“Macalister, leave right now or Nate will be the least of your concerns.” Ronan had a lethally calm expression on his face that was almost more frightening than the rage I knew simmered beneath it. He hated Jimmy Macalister more than any of us.

Jimmy wisely knew he’d never stand a chance against the two of us and stumbled out of the bar. I turned to find Madison. “Where is she?”

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