Page 81 of To Crave Truly

Okay. Here I go.

“Wait!”

There was a moment of silence while she paused waiting for me. Not that I knew how to say goodbye, not that it was really goodbye, but it would never be the same and I think I just needed a minute to grieve that.

Have you changed your mind? she asked quietly.

“No, I just… we…” I took a second to collect my thoughts. “I know it’s been a strange road and that you were never meant to be with me but I’m glad you’re here. I think I’m gonna miss your snarkiness.”

She snorted. I don’t think that’s a word. But I’ll always be here, just more like your conscience than an actual presence. I’ll still get you to roll your eyes at me, if that’s what you’re worried about.

I laughed, more out of relief than anything else. “Okay. Then go for it.”

There was a moments hesitation and then she said, Thank you.

“You’re welcome.”

She nodded and it felt final. Like the last nail in the coffin. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and then relaxed.

A warmth spread through my skin, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. It intensified to the point of being almost unbearable and then…nothing.

My mind suddenly felt spacious, but I felt warm. Like I was wrapped in a permanent embrace. Would it be like this always, or would it fade over time? I couldn’t tell, but I felt less disjointed, less fragmented. Maybe the old man was right. Maybe the right path was joining all the parts of me until I reached balance.

I took a deep breath and centred myself. For the first time in a long time, I felt a glimmer of hope that everything might just be okay.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Lucifer

Iwas going to burn the lot of them. What a ridiculous pile of old fools. They were incapable of making any kind of decision, instead choosing to stand there and debate whether it was worth their time to hear what I had to say.

“Calm yourself, brother,” Michael whispered as he stepped next to me. “Wouldn’t want to start another war now, would we.”

I huffed. It was pretty fucking tempting right now. “Where’s Jegudiel? He would be sorting this rabble out with a lift of his little finger.”

Jegudiel was the Speaker of the Council and in charge of keeping order. The Council of Angels kept law and order in the Upper Realm, but there was nothing orderly about the crowd in front of me.

“Is it me, or is this place falling apart?” I asked.

“There’s definitely something amiss,” Michael mused, his brow drawn in a deep frown. “I’ve never seen it like this before.”

“Can you do something about it?” Fenris asked, his face twisted in confusion as he watched the Council. “Aren’t you an almighty Archangel?”

“I may be an Archangel, but I have no power here in the Council. I’m a warrior, not a politician,” Michael explained. “I go where they, or the Divine One, tell me to go. I don’t make the decisions.”

I patted the marks on his arms that bound him to Hell. “You didn’t ask permission to do that though, did you.” I gave him a knowing look, but he just rolled his eyes at me.

When Selene had fixed the soul bond, I’d gotten so close to the point of death that the wards I’d built to protect Hell had started to fail. If it hadn’t been for Michael and Rae binding their lifeforce to the protection wards, Hell would have fallen apart and all the demons and dark souls would have escaped. That wouldn’t have been good for anyone.

But it meant that Michael had sacrificed something of himself to save me. I still couldn’t believe he’d done that but the white tattoo-like marks on his forearms proved that he had. I often wondered what Rae had said or done to get Michael agree to helping her. It was a special kind of person that could get an Archangel to do their bidding, especially an Archangel like my twin.

“We do need to do something,” Torsten pointed out. “Otherwise, there is no point in us being here.”

I raised my eyebrow at him. Someone was starting to feel bolder now they weren’t bound by eternal servitude.

“Yeah,” Edwin said, a bored expression on his face. “When’s the fun going to start?”

Torsten was right. We were achieving nothing by standing here and merely watching.

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